The Military Laws of Murphy

Army axiom.

Any order that can be misunderstood is misunderstood.

Murphy’s military laws.

1. Remember: you’re not superman.

2. If it’s stupid, but works, then it’s not stupid.

3. Do not look bright – it attracts enemy fire.

4. Do not attract the fire of the enemy – it irritates the people who surround you.

5. When in doubt, empty the store.

6. Never deli trenches with someone more brave than you.

7. Never forget – your weapon was made as cheaply as possible, and at the right time it will necessarily refuse.

8. If the machine does not fail, the cartridges will run out.

9. If the cartridges do not run out, then it turns out that there is no one to shoot.

10. If the attack is really good, then you are waiting for an ambush.

11. No matter how good your plan is, it is still fundamentally wrong.

12. If everything goes according to plan, then you do not notice something.

13. All grenades with a five-second delay will explode in three seconds.

14. Try to look indifferent – can the enemy run out of ammo.

15. It is this provocation from the side of the enemy that you ignore will prove to be the main attack.

16. All important is always so simple.

17. Everything simple is always so difficult.

18. A short way is always mined.

19. If you get into everything except the opponent, then everything is in order.

20. When you have secured the next area, do not forget to inform the enemy about it.

21. The enemy’s fire always hits the target.

22. No unit prepared for battle has been tested.

23. No unit that has been checked is ready for battle.

24. If the enemy is within reach, then so are you.

25. Things that should be used together can never be brought to the same place.

26. The radar will break at the exact moment when you need exact coordinates.

27. Whatever you do, it will draw on you the enemy’s fire, even if you do not do anything.

28. There is only one thing more precise than enemy fire – this is when your own shoot at you.

29. Actions of professionals can be predicted, but the world is full of lovers.

30. If something does not work, knock it well, if it breaks – nothing, you still had to throw it away.

31. If anything was important during the training sessions, it’s useless in the war, but if anything was useless, now it’s just right.

32. Bullets are not aware that “the senior in rank has privileges”.

33. There is nothing more pleasant than when someone shoots you and misses.

34. If the sergeant saw you, then, therefore, the enemy can do it.

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