The problem of rape is no less acute in modern society than it was before. To speak openly about this are few. Women are ashamed to tell everyone about their pain and what has directly affected their lives. As a result, sociologists and psychologists reflect on violence.
They consider special cases and situations, through the prism of which the whole problem is assessed. So there are myths about rape. They are determined by historical reasons. In a patriarchal society, people expect the sexes and the structure of society to behave appropriately.
The most correct attitude to this problem is its recognition and honest discussion. You can not pretend that there is no issue of rape in modern society. It is worth highlighting this problem and dissuading the society in the established myths.
Sex is always the basis of rape.
Rape should be viewed as a situation that directly threatens life. And this is not a unique problem. It is worth noting that every eighth woman faces her. The sexual attractiveness of the object is often an occasion, but the main motives are still different. The rapist is guided by the desire to feel his power, influence, throw out aggression and prove the ability to control someone else. It is known that most rapists have a permanent sexual partner. Pleasure comes from the realization of one’s own power, the displacement of anger. But these feelings are temporary, they quickly pass. That’s why the criminal begins to look for a new victim.
Men become violators only because of the provocative behavior of women.
According to research, most rapes are planned in advance. And the responsibility for this lies entirely with the rapist. And do not consider the behavior of women the main reason – the victims are both children and men of different ages and types of appearance. The main factor is not the behavior of the victim, but the opportunity to commit violence.
The threat of violence can be reduced through “correct” behavior.
It is understood that rape directly threatens the life of a person. Every criminal has his own line of behavior. The best thing a victim can do is respond to the situation and listen to his survival instincts. There are no clearly defined rules. If the victim remained alive – then she behaved correctly.
The victim of rape is better not to remember what happened, and forget about it as soon as possible.
Similar advice can be given to those who are interested in their own spiritual comfort, and not feelings of the victim. Anyone who survives rape should be able to talk about this with specialists. Practice shows that victims who do not have the opportunity to talk about their negative experiences, much worse adapt to later life. In general, the psyche of a person is individual, so it is not worth pestering with questions.
There is no psychological trauma from rape.
Almost all people return to normal life after a year. Rape leads to the fact that the injured person begins to better assess their strength. But at the same time this experience is so strong that it changes the life of the victim. Rape destroys the human psyche. It is known that 31% of the victims have post-traumatic stress disorder. This is a serious psychological disorder that can last a lifetime. Every tenth person who has experienced such an experience suffers from PTSD constantly.
Only women are affected by violence.
For one year alone, about 20,000 cases of sexual violence against men and adolescents aged 12 years have been officially recorded in the well-to-do USA. According to other sources, every tenth victim of violence is a man.
When incest violence is a rarity.
In any society, incest is fairly common. It is known that of all tyrants, 77% are those who choose their own children as victims. However, only 57% of them are biological parents.In 16% rapists have some kind of kinship with the victims and only 6% of people do not have anything to do with it. And in 95% of incest cases, the initiative comes from men.
Sexual violence is rare, because among our friends there are no such victims.
Sexual violence is quite common. There are victims even among our relatives, acquaintances or friends. Simply victims often prefer not to talk about it, and quickly forget what happened, erase everything from their memory. But the trauma remains and can manifest itself during the life crisis, or if a person has the opportunity to communicate with someone who understands him, to trust. Sexual violence is not necessarily an incident on the street with a police call and a story in the press. This can happen inside the family, being hidden from prying eyes.
Women often give false testimony about their rape.
The Federal Bureau of Investigation found that only less than 2% of allegations of rape are false. This level is quite comparable with other crimes. If the victim knew the rapist, then she usually also tries to keep silent about this.
The rapist gives out his appearance.
The outlaws are no different from other people. They may well be friendly, sociable, seem harmless. It can be people in relationships, with families and children.
Women subconsciously want to be raped.
It’s hard to get into the woman’s head, but it’s obvious that nobody wants to be raped. Aggressive sex is a fantasy for many, women are waiting for decisive action from partners. But in the case of rape, the victim does not control the process and can not stop it at any time. In this and the difference between fantasy and cruel reality.
The actions of the husband and wife are not violent.
The idea that a husband can not rape his own wife is depriving her of the rights to personal security that unmarried women have. If a spouse is beaten, then with a high degree of probability she experiences some form of rape in her marriage. Sometimes men are even allowed to take revenge in the form of violence against former or separately living wives. Happens to the contrary, just a few of the husbands talk about their experience as a victim.
Only bad women are hurt.
Rape is a special kind of crime. Only in this case the victims are so closely and suspiciously attentive. They are even almost forced to justify themselves. It is profitable for the society to blame the victims themselves for what happened, calling them “bad.” The main reason lies in the feeling of own protection of other people. When we believe that the victim is to blame, this allows people to feel safe. Everyone believes that he is not that, with him it can not happen. In fact, objects for violence are selected regardless of their behavior.
Rape happens at night in unsociable places.
Unfortunately, rape can occur at any time, and anywhere. The victim may be caught unawares in his own home during the daylight hours.
Abusers are usually strangers.
There is evidence that 70% of the victims knew their abusers. It can be a relative, a colleague or a man invited to a meeting. Violent only young and attractive women.
Rape can happen to anyone and at any time. In this case, age, nationality or social status do not matter. Clothing women, her age and behavior do not determine the choice of the victim. As mentioned above, rapists choose the least protected object.
If a man is sexually aroused, he can not stop.
After the onset of sexual arousal, men can still control themselves. They do not need to necessarily have sexual intercourse and at any cost to look for an object for this.
A woman can easily fight off a rapist if she really wants to.
A rapist can achieve it even without a weapon. He is helped by the shock, the effect of surprise, the fear of the victim before the threat of harm.
If the victim has no visible injuries, then serious violence can not be said.
No injuries are the result of serious violence. Victims say that the constant intimidation, humiliation and manipulation are transferred worse than just physical injuries. And in violence the most important place is occupied by the emotional side, there can be no physical one at all.
Rape is not found in decent families, they are inherent in alcoholics, the unemployed and the poor.
Some studies do show that violence is more common in families with low incomes. However, poverty and unemployment alone are not risk factors for violence. This, rather, can be seen as a source of additional tension, which allows us to develop survival skills. Abusers can act in a sober manner, treating their victim in the same way as under the influence of alcohol. Other studies have shown that rape occurs in well-off families, where there are no problems with drugs or alcohol. It’s just that in such an environment people try not to make personal problems public.
Abusers are mentally ill people, unable to control their aggression and anger.
Mentally healthy, successful in life and educated men may well become violators. With strangers, they behave with restraint and respect, in public in relation to their partner show concern. But in private, such men show violence, considering themselves worthy of domination and complete control. Criminals may well control themselves and restrain their impulses, if necessary.
Violence will cease if the woman leaves her husband-rapist.
Even if there are several such withdrawals, the violence will not stop. Practice shows that the persecution, mostly psychological, but also controlling, physical violence, continues after the break in relations. Sometimes the violence becomes even more frequent and brutal.
Rape is committed impromptu.
In fact, most of the crimes of this kind are pre-planned. It is obvious that if a man or woman follows his victim at night or pours some intoxicating substance into a drink, then all this is no coincidence. A drunk man can suddenly attack a woman, but before that, he was deliberately pumped up with alcohol to reach such a stage.
If you have given a preliminary consent, then you can not say “no”.
This situation is not a contractual obligation. It is about the body of a man, whose part is both the mind and will. No one else has the right to rule over this. A man should stop if he hears “no.” Otherwise, violence will occur. Even if a woman lured a partner and behaved defiantly, her direct refusal of sex should become a stop signal.