New Transcendental Merfolology

Observation of Bertrand Russell.

The essence of philosophy is this: start with something so simple that it seems unworthy of formulation, and end up with something so paradoxical that no one is ready to believe it.

Maxim Millley.

It is not true that life is one fucking abomination after another; in fact it is one continuous devilish abomination, which all drags on and stretches.

Maxim Mumford.

Traditionalists are pessimists for the future and optimists for the past.

The Law of Kegley.

If the pickpocket meets the saint, he sees only his pockets.

Weinberg’s law.

Progress is achieved on Fridays, but only once.

Consequence of Denniston.

If you did something right and right once, then surely there will be a person who will ask you to do it again.

Johnson’s Law.

If for only a few months only three worthy secular events will take place, they all fall out on the same evening.

McCloury Supplement.

To get an enemy, do someone a good deed.

The Hartley Act.

Never go to bed with someone who is even more insane than yourself.

The postal principle.

People usually get what they send … except that it was sent by mail.

Rule of Bertrand Russell.

Do not worry about how to avoid temptations – as you grow older, they will begin to avoid you.

Remark Colloay.

Nothing in the known part of the universe moves faster than a lime check.

The Golden Principle.

Nothing would ever have been done if at the beginning it was required to refute all possible objections.

Harris complains.

All good things have already been done, all the good have already been dismantled.

Nubla’s law on politics.

All other things being equal, a bald man can not be elected President of the United States.

Consequence.

If necessary, to make a political choice between two bald candidates, American voters will vote for the less bald of them.

Ferguson’s Commandment.

A real crisis takes place when you are not able to say: “Let’s forget all this.”

Sandy’s comment.

This thing makes sense – but only until you think about it.

Rule of RA. Wilson.

Reality is all that you are able to reconcile.

Maxim Bernard Shaw.

Chastity is not enough temptation.

Rule of Reeves.

Everything falls apart on the same day.

The principle of Favre.

Money earned in your own business will soon be lost in someone else’s business.

The saying of a feminist.

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.

Friedman’s reaction to the feminist saying.

A man without a woman is like a neck without a sore.

Law of Bowers for any work.

If you only have one nail, it will necessarily bend.

The Hove Law.

Each has its own method, which will not work.

Mander’s Consequence.

Everyone who does not work has a method that will work just fine.

The Law of Jones and Laird.

Toothache tends to start on a Saturday evening.

The Irishman’s Lemma.

Faith is a deep conviction that, as you know, it is not true.

Witten’s Law.

As soon as you cut your nails, as in an hour it turns out that there is a need for them.

The Woodside principle for a grocery store.

It is always the same pouch in which the eggs lie.

Murphy’s topology law.

The shortest distance between two points is a downward spiral.

The Law of Severeida.

The main cause of problems is their solution.

Holmes’s Manual.

It is not harmful to remember that the whole universe, with one trifling exception, consists of other people.

Commoner’s Law.

Nothing goes nowhere.

Consequence of the Law from the Law of Murphy.

Two mucks in a row – this is just the beginning.

The first hawk of traffic.

Slowly moving series, in which you had to brake and stop, immediately begins to move, as soon as you can hardly get out of it.

Law of Siyyah.

Nothing ever ends as planned.

Werner Heisenberg’s law.

There are things that are so serious that you can only joke about them.

Synthes law on consumer protection.

The sixty-day warranty period firmly guarantees that this product will be subjected to self-destruction on the sixty-first day.

The law of Herblok.

If this is something good, in the near future it will be removed from production.

The law of Skoffff.

ребенок The child does not spill anything on the dirty floor.

Rule of Fitzgerald’s father.

Behave as if you were being watched.

Elridge’s law of wars.

A person is always ready to die for an idea, provided that this idea is not entirely clear to him.

The rule of great people.

When a great man, to whom you have deep respect and admiration, looks immersed in deep thought, he most likely reflects on the dinner.

The third law of Clark.

Any sufficiently advanced modern technology is indistinguishable from a miracle.

The Matz principle.

Conclusion ripens at that point in your thinking, when you are already tired of thinking.

The Law of Severeida.

The main cause of problems is their solution.

Haldane’s Law.

The universe is not only more strange than we imagine it to be – it is more strange than we are able to imagine.

Fowler’s remark.

The only imperfect thing in nature is the human race.

Observation of Tallulah Bennhead.

If I had to live my life again, I would have made the same mistakes, but only faster.

Maxim Mencken.

For every human problem there is always an easy solution – clear, plausible and erroneous.

The Golden Law of Journalism.

The article on errors will necessarily contain errors.

Buchner’s principle.

The most elementary explanation is that everything, it simply does not make the slightest sense.

The rule of achieving total success in life.

Never say everything you know.

The Law of Mrs. Murphy.

If something bad can happen, it will certainly happen – and at a time when Mr. Murphy is not at home.

Remark of Edmond Rostand.

My pessimism extends so far that I even suspect the sincerity of other pessimists.

Pope’s Law.

Crockery with shreds never beats.

Churchill’s remark about the man.

A person sometimes manages to accidentally stumble – to the truth, but most of the time he is engaged in that falls, rises and continues to seek.

The law of Tomlin.

Real reality is nothing more than a collective guess.

The Principle of Prince.

People who work sitting, pay more than people who work standing up.

The Law of Terber.

We can not find any security in numbers or in anything else.

The Law of Winkorn.

There are three varieties of people: those who can count, and those who do not know how.

Law of Sid.

It is impossible to win all the matches if you do not win the first.

The McGuire Principle.

The most beautiful goals are scored at the moment when you jump out of the house to buy beer. Morris’s Law.

Any person is able to admit to himself that he acted incorrectly. A real test of character is to admit it to someone else.

The rule for guests.

You should never confuse the patience of the hosts with their hospitality.

The law of Khatala.

In order to plan your vacation well, you need to stay on the Internet longer than the holiday itself.

Mizner’s Law.

Poverty loves the company, but the company does not respond to it with reciprocity.

Cranston Restaurant Law.

The richer the menu, the sooner the waiter approaches you with the purpose of accepting the order.

Rule of Arnold Toynbee.

In matters of religion, it is very easy to mislead humanity and it is very difficult to get out of it.

Farnberg’s Law

Necessity is the mother of strange friendships and no less strange close relationships.

Law of Meires.

In relationships with people, the right thing is usually the act that is most difficult to accomplish.

Heid’s Law for Queues.

As soon as you come, in front of closed doors there is always someone who came before.

The first law of travel.

It takes more time to get there, than to return from there.

Stitzer’s vacation principle.

When preparing for a vacation trip, take half your clothes with you and twice as much money.

Observation of Yasenek.

Kissing is a means of placing two people so close together that each of them is unable to discern any flaws in the partner.

Growing up of a growing child.

Mom said that there would be days like this, but she never said there would be so many of them.

Vyshkovsky’s law.

You can force any device to earn if you take it long enough.

The law of practice.

Tactical techniques that work in theory do not work in practice.

Miller’s Law.

Exceptions confirm the rule – and ruin the budget.

Gilly Law.

The worse you have a haircut, the slower the hair grows.

Postulate of Uezeruoks.

The degree of severity of your reaction to incoming information is inversely proportional to its accuracy.

Law of Dowling about photography.

One missed opportunity to make a good photo generates the desire to buy two additional accessories to the camera.

Rule P.K. Dick.

Reality is all that refuses to disappear when you stop believing in it.

Observation of Defachua.

A road without obstacles usually leads to nowhere.

Strange Isaac’s rule for stale products.

1. Everything that is fresh in a fresh form is softened in a stale form.

2. Everything that is fresh is soft, stale in a stale form.

Law of Mnrfi on warehouse stocks.

If you do not need it and you do not want it, it will always be in bulk.

Act Helen for sales.

If you did not buy it when you saw it for the first time, after your return it will not be there.

The law of Berel.

A detailed report on the consumer qualities of the product you are interested in will be released one week after you have already made the purchase.

Consequences.

1. The model you bought will get an “unusable” rating.

2. That model, from which you at the last moment refused, will receive the “most purchased” rating.

Rule of Milsted.

After you sent your last postcard, you will receive a congratulation from the person you forgot by forgetfulness.

Law of Lewis.

No matter how long or persistently you are engaged in the purchase of a certain product, it will immediately get to you somewhere at the sale, and much cheaper.

Maxim U.K. Fields.

Start each day with a smile, this is enough for you.

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