Murphy’s laws on the prenatal period

Pre and postnatal counseling.

Before you have a little child, all the relatives just say:

1. “Out of you would come out such wonderful parents.”

2. “You do not understand what you’re losing.”

3. “Children will introduce a completely new dimension into your marriage.”

4. “Among other things, you need heirs to continue our family line.”

After the baby is born, they say: “Now the real problems have started!”

Addressing the population problem.

If men gave birth to children, there would simply be no problem of population.

Guaranteed way to get pregnant.

1. Tell your parents that you decided not to have children.

2. Get deeper into debt.

3. Move to an expensive one-bedroom apartment and sign a three-year lease contract.

4. Buy a two-door sports car with a “coupe” body.

5. Reset, finally, five kilos, so that you ideally “sat” all your outfits.

6. Apply for adoption

Four reasons to become pregnant.

1. Finally, in the neckline you will have a hollow on your chest.

2. Your complexion will become much lighter.

3. You can have sex without fear of “flying”.

4. You will be replaced by a bus or train (unless, of course, you live in New York).

Reinforced concrete law of genetic predetermination.

If your parents were unable to have children, you too will be unable to have them.

Sexual self-sacrifice.

1. The more you try to conceive, the less pleasure you get from sex.

2. The more children you have, the less time you have, for sex.

Guaranteed method.

1. If in a copious stream of gifts you receive for a baby blue tones prevail, you will have a girl.

2. If most of the gifts you receive for the baby are pink, you will have a boy.

3. If most of the gifts for the baby that you receive have a clear blue color, your friends are “blue”.

Financial factor.

By the time you can afford to have a family, you are already too old to do it. (And you’re not thinking too well.)

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