Murphy’s laws on schoolchildren

The law of silence.

Silence is a rarity. Some days it does not exist at all.

Logic of departure.

1. You can not wait for them to leave for the summer camp.

2. At the very moment when they disappear from the field of vision, you begin to miss them, and you already miss them.

The principle of love for puppies.

Your children will definitely feed their new puppy. The day he was brought home. And in those days when you will threaten them that you will give the dog back.

The first law of electricity.

The electricity producer must take your children to the state and pay them salaries. After all, they always include all the lights in the house and forget to turn them off.

Secrets of a sleepy bachelorette party.

(The custom of spending a night in the American school girlfriends in the house of one of them, such a girl’s party is mostly in chatter.)

A sleepy bachelorette is designed to:

1. Gossip, giggle and tell terrible stories.

2. Fill the stomach with popcorn, pizza and cookies with chocolate chips.

3. Call the boys.

4. Dance the deaf at night under the unbearably loud rock music.

A sleepy bachelorette is not meant to:

1. Sleep.

2. Allow at least someone in the house to fall asleep.

If everyone in the house is sleepy and a little drowsiness – it means that today is the day after the hen party … and this will continue all day.

Time obliges.

1. The less time you give your children for training, the more time will be left to put everything in order after them.

2. No matter how much time you give, they always need more.

Shop grumbler.

1. When you need help to bring products into the house and put them in order, your kids are too busy – by sitting with their noses on the TV.

2. By the time you solved this problem, having turned off the TV and dispersed the children to their rooms, the ice cream completely and irrevocably melted, spreading all over the back seat, and the meat became out of order.

Consequence.

You just have to decompose all the products, as your kids immediately run to the kitchen and ask what to eat.

Homebody syndrome.

The more pocket money you give your children for small expenses, the less likely they will run away from home.

Pull tactics.

The later you send them to bed, the longer they laze.

Forecast of snow cover thickness.

1. If Santa Claus brought your child under the Christmas tree a pair of brand new branded skis, Christmas will be snowless.

2. If Santa Claus brought your child a new bicycle under the Christmas tree, until the Passover there will be snow at least a meter in thickness.

The “do not touch ours” reflex.

1. Any schoolboy, whose grades are higher than that of your teenager, are “cretin” and “crammed.”

2. Every schoolmate, who is more popular in his school than your grown-up child, is a “real jerk.”

Difficulties with silence.

1. The more noisy in your teen’s bedroom, the more likely it is that he needs to prepare for serious exams.

2. The quieter in your teen’s bedroom, the more likely that he intends to study your manuals on the technique of beautiful sex.

Logic of delays.

Adolescents spend more time figuring out justifications, why they did not submit their written test papers on time, than they would need to write them.

Driving license.

Do not expect that once your overage child enters the school team for athletics, then half a mile before school, it will pass on foot, run or ride a bicycle. Who does this after they get a driver’s license ?!

The problem with popularity.

1. Adolescents are convinced that they will never find such a welcome popularity if they do not have an expensive outfit and a high-speed sports car.

2. If they are going to work part-time after the lessons, they can afford an expensive outfit and high-speed sports car.

3.As a result, they will be torn between school and work after school, so they will not have a minute to reap the rewards of their popularity.

Dilemma of dirty dishes.

If your grown-up child does not survive the parental pressure, give up and wash the dishes, then do not complain that the dishes are still dirty anyway. Unless you do not want it to ever wash the dishes again. (Perhaps this is not such a bad idea, and it is certainly for this thought that it would like to push you.)

Consequence.

If it is taken on its own initiative, it takes two serious exams to be prepared for tomorrow, which should be properly prepared.

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