Murphy’s Laws on Meetings

Mitchell’s Law.

Any problem can be made unsolvable if a sufficient number of meetings are held to discuss it.

Hendrickson’s law.

If the problem requires many meetings, they will ultimately become more important than the problem itself.

The Law of Ould and Kahn.

The effectiveness of the meeting is inversely proportional to the number of participants and the time spent.

The law of committee dynamics.

The less pleasure you have from attending a meeting, the more likely it is that you will have to participate in it.

The Falkland rule.

When there is no need to make a decision, it is necessary not to accept it.

The law of triviality.

The time spent discussing any issue on the agenda is inversely proportional to the size of the amount of money discussed for its implementation.

The first law of commission dynamics.

Commission on commission and commission chases.

Second law of commission dynamics.

The less you like to be a member of the commission, the more you are forced to become it.

The law of Hendrickson.

If a discussion of the problem requires many meetings, the meetings, in essence, become more important than the problem itself.

Rule of Lord Volkland.

If you do not need to make a decision, you do not need to accept it.

The Fervex Law.

Any facts presented in the discussion are good if they give the desired result.

Manktonton rule.

Any worthy argument led by a bureaucrat should have the ability to be expressed in a simple narrative sentence that is unquestionably true, as it is expressed.

Rules for postponing the term of the assignment.

1. The transfer of the term of the task is useful in that it makes it possible to reduce the amount of work and shift responsibility for this transfer to another (for example, to the manager who established the term).

2. The transfer of the term reduces the voltage, because the expected quality of work is reduced to the extent that the efforts made at the first term will be carried over to the second, reduced term.

3. In the case of postponement, a person acquires much in his (and others’) eyes, since tension increases the degree of significance of the work itself.

4. If you do not transfer the deadline for the assignment, including additional tasks; then an overloaded worker can concentrate on doing just one job.

5. The postponement of the task does not allow people to get bored, since he always reminds them that there is something very important that needs to be done.

6. If you need to postpone the work before it is completed, you can not do it at all. The word is always given to the one who screams loudest.

Rules of the Rayburn.

1. If you want to live, turn around.

2. You want to live in harmony – agree!

The law of the dispute.

Never argue with a fool – people can not notice the difference between you.

Law of Patton.

A good plan today is better than an impeccable tomorrow.

Svippl’s order of priority.

Whoever screams louder than everyone else is given a word.

Harrison’s postulate.

There is an opposing critic for every action.

Seneca rule for the helmsman.

When the ship does not know to which pier it holds the way, for it no wind will be a by-passing.

The Law of Karl Marx.

A separate violinist himself controls himself, and the orchestra needs a conductor.

Rogers rule.

The project will be accepted only when none of the members of the commission can be accused of failing, but with success everyone can claim for encouragement.

Bachmann’s inevitability theorem.

The greater the cost of implementing a plan, the less likely it is to abandon it, even if it turns out to be untenable.

Consequence.

The higher the prestige of people behind the plan, the less chance of its abolition.

The principle of “hurry-and-wait” Loposhaysky.

Came early in the morning – already canceled.

You break into a flat cake to come on time – you wait.

Delayed – was late hopelessly.

The Gourde Axiom.

Minimize minutes and waste hours in meetings.

The Eleventh Commandment.

Do not kill, do not steal … Do not create a commission.

Kenedi’s comment about the commission.

The Commission is twelve people working instead of one.

Law on Morris Conferences.

The most interesting report of the conference will be on the agenda in time to coincide with another interesting report.

Matilda’s law on the formation of subcommittees.

It is worth leaving the room, as you will immediately choose.

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