Murphy’s laws on divorce

Cause of divorce.

Maybe someone does not know this, but the main reason for divorces is marriage.

Beginning, middle and end.

If the middle was as good as the beginning, the marriage would never come to an end.

An alternative to divorce.

The decision to divorce does not seem so horrible if you take into account the alternative: murder.

The layout is 50/50.

Fifty percent of all married couples are divorced. The remaining 50 percent still continue to swear.

Different meetings.

The less you meet before the wedding, the more you meet in court.

Brief instruction about friendly means.

There are no friendly divorces in nature.

It’s time to get divorced.

If a wife starts to feel like a new person, so it’s time for a divorce.

Wisdom of the dishwasher.

The best way to get rid of your worn, old dishwasher is to divorce her.

Rationale for divorce.

1. If he married you for the sake of having children, he will divorce you, because you are giving them too much time.

2. If he married you because of your figure, he will divorce you as soon as it begins to blur.

3. If he married you because of your brilliant ability to talk, he will divorce you, because he will not be able to keep your long tongue behind his teeth.

4. If he married you because of your mind, he will divorce you because of your knowingness.

5. If he married you, admiring your ability to delve into all the little things, he will divorce you, since you will become for him “a terrible scoundrel” and “specialist in catching fleas.”

6. If he married you, because you understand him, he will divorce you, because you understand him too well.

7. If he married you because of your sexuality, he will divorce you because of your insatiable sexual appetite.

The youth factor.

The younger you were when you married, the younger you will be when you divorce.

The divorce doctrine.

Divorce is a perfectly legal way to continue relationships that you were not able to sustain.

The factor of respect.

Divorces are much more pleasant and work out much better if you treat this dumbass and nothingness with respect.

Wailing at a distance.

On the very day when you finally decide to leave this person, a heart attack happens to him, and he urgently needs your vigilant attention and care.

Anger factor.

The more you get angry, the more will be the bill from your lawyer, as well as your legal costs.

Axiom of elements.

Alimony is what you expect to get, excrement is what you get, and for sure.

Cost of living.

The cost of living for two people living alone, almost double the cost of the same two people living together.

Rule “to have or not to have.”

After you, with all the meticulousness, share equally with your ex-spouse all your assets and capitals, you will find out that you personally have a mere penny left, which you can barely survive from bread to water.

Verdict about the winners and losers.

The only winners in the divorce case are lawyers.

Consequence.

Any, conversations of a penny of a broken one do not cost … except for your intimate conversations with a divorce lawyer.

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