Murphy’s Laws on Communication

Murphy’s objection to F.T. Barnum.

(Barnum F. Taylor (1810-1891) – American showman who founded The Greatest Show on Earth (1871), which then merged with his main rival (1881), forming the famous Bailey Circus. phrase: “Children love to be fooled.”

1. Your child can be fooled only once.

2. Your child can be bribed many times.

How to improve communication in the family.

The best way to open up channels of communication Mezhdu all your children is this: early go to sleep with your spouse, hitch some romantic music and lock the door of the bedroom .. Very soon your whole family will break the camp at the door of your bedroom, having a large set of questions that need a detailed discussion.

Where do the children come from?

Tell your children where they come from take other children – a waste of time … they already know everything, in addition, they have already taught this bunch of other children.

Do not overdo with hospitality.

If your children do not have friends, never invite neighbor children to “come and feel at home”, otherwise they will turn your house into a menagerie.

Six-year skepticism.

Your six-year-old does not believe in Santa Claus, in the Zubov fairy, or in the story that you and your spouse go to bed at ten o’clock on Saturday morning, solely for the purpose of “taking a nap.”

Ability to get out.

The children have a shining excuse for everything:

1. If they are late: “I was flowing from my nose, so I got my feet wet, and I had to change my shoes for a long time.”

2. If they are not able to sit still at the dinner table: “A move is very useful for my digestion.”

3. If they have a mess in the room: “I somehow tried to clean everything neatly, but could not then find anything!”

4. If they bite their nails: “I eat only natural products and prefer the food that I have at hand.”

Playing names.

The more children you have, the more names you will have to scream before you get to the name of the child you are calling to the phone.

Surprise is worse than a stick or a stone.

Sticks and stones do not break their bones, but any name chosen by their parents always hurts them.

Consequence.

No matter how innocent you think the name of your child, it will necessarily be teased on this ground.

The laws of Mother Bell.

(Bell Alexander Graham (Graham) (1847-1922) is an American inventor and educator, his main invention is the telephone.)

1. When the phone rings, it probably rings your overage child.

2. When you get a phone bill, it’s certain to you.

Exceptions from the normal state.

Adolescents are always sulking and moping. Except for those situations when they hang on the phone.

Selective hearing rule.

1. When your kids think that this is calling you, they are not able to hear the call, even if they are two steps away from the phone.

2. When they are waiting for a call from their friends or girlfriends, they are easily able to hear the phone, even standing in the shower.

Consequence.

Only teenagers are willing to chat willingly with any rogue who trades in aluminum siding or collects money for charitable purposes.

A dilemma with dialogues.

1. When you would like to talk with your grown up children, they are too busy with their own affairs.

2. When your grown up children would like to talk with you, you walk around the house like an ugly, late for work.

3. And they want to talk about what exactly you should buy them on the way from work to home.

Consequence.

In addition, your adult children show an impatient desire to discuss with you their most secret thoughts when you:

1. Take a bath or are busy in the bathroom with something else, more thoughtful and important.

2. Talking on the phone.

3.Trying to fill out your tax return.

4. They fell asleep.

Dips in communication.

1. When you ask them a question, they do not answer.

2. When you give them an answer, they object.

Fads related to communication.

1. Adolescents become particularly talkative when they are in the bathroom or in the toilet.

2. You are not able to hear a word from what they say, as the door is closed and water flows.

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