Murphy’s laws about husbands

Training factor.

Your husband is in good enough shape to:

1. Play three sets of tennis.

2. Go through 18 holes in golf.

3. Hurriedly finish in the race for 10 km.

4. Swim 36 stretches in an Olympic-sized swimming pool.

5. Run 50 sit-ups, 25 times off the floor, jump 25 times, bending your knees, and 50 to jump, clapping your hands over your head.

But he was too tired to:

1. Take out the trash.

2. Wash the dishes.

3. To make a bed.

4. To swaddle the child.

5. Replace the light bulb.

6. Mow grass on the lawn.

7. To redeem children.

8. Put the children to bed.

9. Prepare dinner.

10. Lower the toilet seat into place.

Compatibility test.

Your marriage will be successful if you can quickly agree:

1. To squeeze out a toothpaste, starting from the top of the tube or starting from the bottom.

2. Inserting toilet paper in such a way that it is unwound from the top to the bottom or from the bottom up.

Remarks about the products.

1. When you need his help to put food in the house and put them in order, he’s busy.

2. If you just put the products in their place, how he longs to know what’s for dinner.

The attraction of the sofa.

1. When an important game is shown on TV, he lies on the couch and watches her closely.

2. When on television, do not show an important game, he is lying on the couch and carefully studying the television program, so as not to miss, when it will be shown.

Complaint about cleaning.

The only help that the husband gives you when cleaning – he gives you the gracious permission to use his old T-shirts as rags for wiping dust.

A hard case, or the ability to disappear on time.

Your husband is invariably away on official business if in the house:

1. A plate or boiler breaks.

2. You need to quickly cut the lawn.

3. Drain or wash in the kitchen is allowed to flow.

4. Finally, in the name of her husband comes a long-awaited parcel from relatives with gifts for the whole family.

The language barrier.

You will never know if he loves you, because the word “love” is not present in his vocabulary … except that he starts talking about moderately under-cooked steaks from the tenderloin, about foreign sports cars or about supporting midfielders.

The color factor.

On your birthday, do not forget to stop-on the side of the highway to smell the flowers, because your husband will forget to bring you at least some bouquet.

Confusion in memory.

Your husband is not able to remember the anniversary of your wedding, but it’s very frustrating if you suddenly forget his birthday.

Casual with habits.

Your spouse is still able to at least partially change, namely:

1. His good habits evaporate.

2. But his bad habits persist.

A warning against too decisive changes.

If you have succeeded in changing the character of your husband, do not complain that he is not now the person you married.

Syndrome of success.

1. Behind each man who succeeds in business, his surprised mother-in-law is hiding behind him.

2. Behind every man who succeeded in business, his wife disappears behind him, which has long been to him for a bulb.

Reverse Act.

Behind every woman who succeeds in business, a man with an inferiority complex hides.

Forecast of the development of events in the world.

If he is delighted with your new dress, then, most likely, he simply did not see the label on it with the price.

The trouble with the man in the house.

It’s nice to have a man in the house – except for those cases when he is sick, sitting without work or retired.

New turn of business.

A man who has ceased to find flaws in his wife is a widower.

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