How to speak convincingly

The right word gives your question the right direction. You positively influence the reaction. The information you are interested in is already sent to the positive channel in advance.


Say “and” instead of “but”, for example “It’s you you did well, and if you …”, instead of – “Yes, it’s good, but you must …”. Because “but” crosses out everything that was said before him.


Say “and” instead of “and yet.” For example: “I understand that you can not give an answer so quickly, and therefore let’s …” instead of: “I understand that you can not answer right now, but it would still be better …”. Because “and yet” tells the interlocutor that you are deeply indifferent to his wishes, expectations, doubts or questions.

How to speak convincingly


Use the word “for” instead of the word “against”. For example: “In order for something to change, I will enroll in the sports section.” instead of “What else would I think up against boredom?”


Avoid rough “no”, as “no”, pronounced with the appropriate intonation, can make a very negative impression on the partner.


Cross out the phrase “honestly” from your vocabulary, because it sounds like honesty for you is an exception.


Say “wrong” instead of “no”. For example: “not so” or “not now”. “In this form, I do not like it.” “At the moment I do not have time for this” instead of “No, I do not like it”, “No, I do not have time.” Because “no” repels. “No” is something finished and finally decided.


Change the angle of view using the word “already” instead of the word “still”. For example: “You have already made half” instead of “Have you made only half?” Because the word “already” turns little into much.


For ever forget the words “only” and “just” or replace them with others. For example: “This is my opinion”, “This is my idea” instead of “I just say my opinion,” “It’s just such an idea.” Cross out the “just” and “only”.


Remove the word “incorrect”. It is better to ask a clarifying question and show the interlocutor that you are also trying to solve the problem. For example: “It did not work out as it should, let’s think about how to correct a mistake or avoid it in the future” instead of “It’s Wrong! This is only your fault.”


Say “to” and “to so much” instead of “somewhere” and “in the neighborhood.” Precisely assign a time and time. For example: “I’ll call on Friday,” “I’ll call you tomorrow at 11 o’clock” instead of “I’ll call at the end of the week,” “I’ll call tomorrow at 11.”


Ask open-ended questions. Do not be satisfied with monosyllabic answers “yes” or “no.” For example: “How did you like it?”, “When will I be able to call you back?” instead of “Did you like it?”, “You can call back”. Because the questions with “How”, “What” or “Who” … extract valuable information.

How to speak convincingly


Use the expression “From now on I …” instead of “If I …”. For example: “From now on I will listen more carefully to the advice” instead of “If I listened to his advice, then it would not happen.” Because “If I …” regrets what has passed, and rarely helps to move forward. Better look to the future. The wording “From this point on I …” is a good basis for such a position.


Stop shirking with the help of “it would be necessary” and “it would be necessary”. Better: “It is important to do this work first” instead of “We need to think about it,” “We must finish this work first.” “It would be necessary” and “it would be necessary” do not approve anything concrete. It is better to clearly and clearly name the one (or that) about whom or what you are talking about (“I” – “you” – “You” – “we”). For example: “You should finish this,” “You should give priority to this work.”


Say “I will do” or “I would like” instead of “I should.” For example: “I would like to think a little first”, “I will first gather the necessary information” instead of “I must first think a little,” “I must collect information.” “I must” is associated with coercion, pressure, or outward determination.Everything you do with such an installation, you do not voluntarily. “I’ll do it” or “I’d like” sounds much more positive for others, more friendly and motivated.


Erase the words “generally” and “actually” from your dictionary. For example: “This is right” instead of “Well, in general it’s right.” “Generally” does not contain any information and is perceived as a restriction.


Say “I recommend you” instead of “You must.” For example: “I advise you to trust me,” “I recommend that you think about it,” “I advise you to take a decision as soon as possible.” With the words “should” and “should” you put the interlocutor under pressure and take away from him the opportunity to make his own decision. “I recommend to you” sounds much more friendly and positive.


Use also alternatives to “I advise you”, such as “I ask you” and “I will be grateful to you”. For example: “I ask you to take a decision as soon as possible”, “I am grateful to you if you trust me” instead of “You have to make a decision as soon as possible”, “You have to trust me”. “I ask you” and “I am grateful to you” is very easy to say, and they are doing a miracle.


Discard all forms of negation; better speak positively. For example: “It will be okay,” “It’s really a good idea,” “It’s easy for me” instead of “This is not a problem for me,” “The idea is really good”, “It will not be difficult for me.” Saying negatives, you go a long way. This is too difficult and can cause unpleasant associations. Speak directly and positively.


Avoid other typical forms with “no”. For example: “Please, understand me correctly”, “Please think about …!”, “Please, keep an eye on …!” instead of “Please do not get me wrong.”, “Please do not forget that …!”, “Let’s not lose sight of it!”. Turn these negative expressions into positive ones. Clearly say what you want. Concentrate all your attention to the desired goal.


Use “motivating negatives”. For example: “What you said is not quite right”, “Here I do not quite agree with you” instead of “What you said is wrong”, “Here I have to object to you.” Motivating negation makes sense in situations where you need to tell another person something unpleasant or completely reject his assumption. It is important that you present your opinion and at the same time tell the truth. With motivating negation, you can say it more politely. You focus on the intended goal.


Prefer accurate concepts instead of non-specific verbs “do”, “work” and “engage.” For example: “We have not yet decided on …”, “I’m just reading the protocol,” “The present situation is such that …” instead of “We can not understand it right now,” “I’m working with the protocol now,” “We are doing everything we can.” Nonspecific verbs leave too much freedom for interpretation.


Ask questions with “when” and “how” instead of those on which you can only answer “yes” or “no”. For example: “When can you help me ….?”, “When can we meet?”, “When will I be able to talk with you?”. In response to a question with “whether” we will receive a reaction only in the form of “yes” or “no.” When you can count on the result, it remains open. Therefore, do not ask whether it is possible to do this or that, but show your positive expectation with the help of “when” and “how.”


Connect the other with “you” and “we”, instead of constantly putting yourself in the spotlight with the help of the “I”. For example: “You see now what’s the matter”, “Please give me your address”, “Now we’ll figure it out together” instead of “Now I’ll show you what’s the matter”, “I still need your address”, “Now I’m you I’ll explain it. ” If you always speak from the first person, then you bring to the forefront yourself and your actions. The use of “you” and “we” unites and concentrates attention on the interlocutor too.

How to speak convincingly


Delete from your dictionary “never”, “every”, “all”, “always” and instead be specific. For example: “Here you will help me!”, “You are late the second week”, “… and … envy my success” instead of “No one helps me”, “You are always late”, “They all envy my success. ” Remove the generalizations. Think “what” exactly happened, “who” this refers to, “when” it happened. Clearly indicate your goals. Generalizations create a negative present and limit opportunities in the future.


Get the reaction of the interlocutor with half-open questions. For example: “How much did you like it?”, “What other questions do you really have on your part?” Instead of “How did you like it?”, “How do you like my idea?”, “What other questions do you have?”.

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