Anyone, even if he has professional skills, needs confidence. It is determined by subjective self-esteem, beliefs, psycho-emotional state, inner mood. Confident people can clearly formulate their thoughts, be a good interlocutor.
But sometimes we can not adequately assess our skills, doubting ourselves. You have to be confident in different aspects of your life – in your endeavors, in your talents, in your skills, in your ability to communicate. This article will give advice that will help you eliminate doubts in yourself, develop confidence in communication and in your qualities.
Do not try to get rid of doubts.
Any person who starts something new has to struggle with doubts. Will he get it? Will not his work be in vain? It is worth recalling the phrase Hesse, who said that faith and doubt are inextricably linked with each other, stipulating one. This means that uncertainty is a natural thing, which will necessarily be at the beginning of any project. And do not try to run away from this, there is nothing terrible in doubt. So it’s worth not to solve them, but just to do your own thing, not listening to the interfering inner voices. Doubts are emotions that are not connected with reality. If you do your best, hesitation will disperse.
To know the moments when faith goes away.
It is worth highlighting situations where there are doubts. It can be minutes of falling asleep. Then you can get used to it and be condescending. And if you completely ignore the inner voice, you can always make a correction for the usual emotional state for such a situation. If there is a certain pattern, then the price of such doubts will decrease. And, on the contrary, it is necessary to catch moments of self-confidence, focusing on them. In this state, one should think about a subject that causes doubts. On the wave of vigor and strength it will be easier to decide on something.
Know your strengths.
At the time of the disorder, only one careless comment from the outside may damage the confidence in the action. Unfortunately, people overestimate the significance of the current moment, immediately transferring it to the global perception of life. The realization that they are not capable of anything leads to the thought that it has always been so. Forget both the previous successes and strengths. At such times you can not give in to the mood, but it’s worth trying to really assess yourself. There is a lot that a person can and what he has already achieved. The facts will help to return an adequate view of reality. And it is on them and should rely, and not on momentary emotions and doubts.
Do not listen to those who talk about hopelessness of the case.
When there is any doubt about the success of the case, one always wants to consult with family and friends. Where else can you find support? But it happens that they, on the contrary, warn about the hopelessness of the event. Some people just think about their psychological comfort, and not about the personal happiness of another. But are there so few people who are insecure? And are there only winners around? Many simply were afraid to go on a separate voyage, they believe that others for the same reason are unable to succeed. These people are waiting for your failure, because luck will reproach them. Will an employee be able to give good advice on starting a business? That’s why it is worthwhile to take advice not from all in a row, but from those who really achieved success in the required field. It is with them that we should take an example.
In moments of doubt, imagine yourself perfect.
Our uncertainty sometimes tries to present itself as common sense. We believe that we are incapable of doing something for some objective reason. So, the guy is afraid to get acquainted with the girl, considering himself ugly, stupid, knowing that she already has someone. In fact, all these are features of insecurity. You must form in your head the image of the ideal self. He is not afraid of anything and is always confident in himself.How would our ideal clone act in a critical situation? Would he have retreated? But do not rush to rush to repeat after him all the actions, so we are not perfect. We just need to realize that we differ only in fears and doubts, and they do not allow us to act. Then the problem immediately ceases to be as complex as it seemed. And now it will be much easier to decide on the action.
Remember that everything depends only on ourselves.
In moments when you are in doubt, you need to understand that everything depends on you. It is we who determine the success of the case. If you show zeal, it will certainly work out. And if not, then no one interferes with trying again. Each of us is free to manifest our innate qualities, which will help us to get what we want from life. Our will depends more than we usually think. And we must stop seeing obstacles everywhere. The road will be mastered by the one walking!
Sometimes it seems that everyone around us is closely watching us, noticing shortcomings, mistakes, memorizing words. In fact, everyone is obsessed with their problems. People think about themselves, even pretending to listen to others. That’s why paranoia is superfluous. Do not be afraid to talk or speak publicly. And we are clearly not in the center of the universe, so that everyone will think about us.
Listen to others.
If we learn to focus on someone other than ourselves, then our mind will not have time to worry about doubts. Why not listen to outsiders, and not worry only about yourself? So you can not only forget your fears, but also look more closely at others, noticing something new in them.
Get rid of perfectionism.
It should be understood that no one is ideal, including us. Also it is necessary to accept it. Proceeding from this, it is necessary to stop reacting painfully to your failures. But they are trying to shake self-confidence. So, if you understand the wrong step or words, you just need to draw conclusions from this and not repeat mistakes in the future. It will be much more productive than reproaching yourself for making mistakes.
Do not be afraid of people.
We are surrounded by people, each of which has its own weaknesses and shortcomings. True, they can look extremely self-assured. Do not assume that there are only professionals around us. Rather, on the contrary, there are many more uncertain and self-doubting people. They just hide it better. And people are not to be afraid, especially if they can not harm us. Our bosses, colleagues, women and men are just like us.
You do not have to seem better than you are.
In trying to convince others that we are the most intelligent and the best, it is important not to overdo it. It will be the best evidence of self-doubt. When we do not feel our strength, we try to convince others around them. So that ostentatious boasting, vanity, assertiveness in communication can tell about inner doubts and uncertainties. That’s why you can not try to look better yourself than you really are. It’s worth starting to believe with yourself. And for other people, we must appear exactly who we are. Do not be overly modest.
In moderation, modesty adorns people. And if you can not seem better than you are, then you should not downplay your possibilities either. If they ask about the merits of the interview, then why not confidently talk about them? If a person boldly talks about his best qualities, then this testifies to his self-confidence. This is noted from the side, flowing into confidence in the person himself. Since we do not doubt, speaking about virtues, so there is no reason to look for shortcomings. If our qualities are appreciated by others, then do not be embarrassed by receiving compliments. After all, we really deserve it. You just need to thank for the kind words addressed to you.
And although we have already talked about how important it is to be yourself, in some situations it is worth portraying confidence when you feel its lack. First of all, it is simply profitable, so a positive image is created. Confident people are more loved and trusted by them. And under the illusion of such a feeling, some of it nevertheless passes to us. Often, our uncertainty is an emotion that prevents the manifestation of real qualities. But you can not go on about the feelings, but take them under your control.
It is easy to smile more, to be interested in the problems of others and to encourage them. This will help to win the interlocutors. And when they are predisposed to you, then the confidence will be easier to keep within.
It’s important to talk openly about your views and share your thoughts. This will help not to become self-absorbed. But at the same time it is worth assessing the situation, will not this approach disturb the comfort of other people? Being uncertain, we do not always express ourselves, keeping something inside. But it does not help to gain confidence, but only takes it. Self-development makes us open, for close people we must always be sincere. You can safely talk about your views, and if they are wrong, why not under the influence of reasonable criticism and arguments to change them? It’s so interesting – to debate on different topics, expand your horizons. Speaking your thoughts out loud and presenting them to the court of those around you, you have to drop all doubts. This brings up self-confidence, because we put ourselves to the test of criticism and someone else’s point of view. Such factors strengthen faith. And do not wait for someone to take the first step, sometimes you can take it yourself, if circumstances have it. Sincere dialogue will sweep away all barriers. And if we are frank with a man, then he will answer us the same. And when we understand that we are open, it will give confidence.
Attention to external data.
Do not forget that they meet on clothes. But the mind, charisma and charm are important, playing even a big role.
You can not be shy.
You must learn to speak clearly, while looking at the interlocutors in your eyes and not waving your hands. Do not rub your fingers, pick your lips, pull sounds. It is necessary to learn to monitor yourself and your body, hone your communication skills. Sooner or later there will be no trace of timidity. Then the thoughts disappear from your head, which prevent you from deciding on something important. With them, internal barriers also melt away.
In case of assistance, it will not go unnoticed. Our experience, skills and knowledge will be appreciated. And then we will certainly be answered if not with support, then with gratitude, believing in us. This is a good foundation for gaining confidence.
Do not look for a problem only in yourself.
Yes, you often need to be able to take responsibility for yourself, and not shift it to others. But with this rule care is needed. Sometimes we do not understand and do not support, but not through our fault. Can be guilty and others. Someone, in principle, is not capable of understanding and is not ready to make contact, while others laugh at all other people’s ideas, asserting themselves. And someone is angry with the whole world, criticizing everyone and everything. It is worth taking this and stop blaming yourself for what is not our fault.
To think about what is next?
Did you make a bad impression? So what? What will be next? Is it so important what people you think about you think about for the first time and with whom, most likely, you will not have contacts? Are there fears that the girl will not go on a date? If this happens, life will not stop. So why should you be afraid? Is there fear of the boss? But what can he do, because he is the same person with his own responsibility. Children in the garden are also afraid of their teachers, do not be like them. In our life there are many reasons for fear – interviews, talk about wages. Let people think they want, we have our own goals. A kind of fear should not stand in our way.If the question “what next” we will ask ourselves every time with fright and doubt, we will understand that many situations do not deserve to worry about them. Some people are completely harmless, so why be embarrassed because of their fears?
Stick to your opinion.
There are things about which you must maintain an unshakable position and firm views. And then you can not rush to agree with all. It’s not blind stubbornness. The error will be aggressive and assertive defense of one’s judgments. This suggests that there is some deliberate position, which the casual opinion can not shake. Words and actions should be based on such principles. And that kind of confidence will help you deal with your business.
Learn from life itself.
It is easy to find several seminars and courses that will help build up self-confidence. But why pay, if reality itself gives many reasons to develop such qualities? We will be taught to behave on the example of artificial situations. Confidence is necessary for life, so she should learn. For this you need to communicate more, get acquainted with interesting people. The advice received should be applied in practice, observing oneself and realizing at what moments uncertainty manifests itself. Then it is worth considering why this is happening and what to do with it further. A good lesson will be hiking for interviews, they will become free classes of business communication.
It is difficult to believe in one’s qualities if they are poorly developed. To realize one’s own strength, they must be present. An important part of self-confidence is self-perception and emotional mood. But only this one is not enough. The increase of faith must necessarily go along with self-development, then in man will appear that on which the awareness of opportunities will be based. To do this, you need to improve your personal qualities. Development of will power and self-control will help reading specialized blogs, art and teaching literature. It is worthwhile to think about improving professional skills, to realize your ultimate goal and to follow it. It is always worthwhile to seek to find something new and learn in this world. And with the acquisition of new skills, self-confidence will also increase. How can one doubt what has been given so much time and what is better than that of others?
Accept their shortcomings.
In addition to knowing your strengths, you should not forget about shortcomings. And this is important, because a calm and thoughtful attitude will help to understand what you need to work on. And do not focus on this, on the fact that you do not know how. Why not think about what you still know how, but there are some disadvantages. So there will be qualities that can be improved, some may be unnecessary, and with something in general nothing can be done. But this is normal – you can not be perfect. You can just make a list of what’s wrong with life, and then consider all the points. And these shortcomings are not a given and a constant, but something that you can work on. Thanks to the efforts, everything can change. If you believe that all the qualities can be developed (and this is really so) and strive for this, you can avoid life situations in which uncertainty manifests itself. Those who have difficulties with communication, you can advise you to talk more with people. If there is a fear of speaking before the public, then there is only one way to learn this. We must not be afraid, but go ahead.
Do not wait for the arrival of confidence, but start acting.
This advice is both the last and the most important. Do not wait until the moment that fear and insecurity leave your soul. So you can spend your whole life without starting anything. We must understand that fears will not go away, they, as already mentioned, accompany any case. And you can not become self-confident until you begin to step over complexes and squeeze. Contrary to them, it is necessary to fight with anxiety. And our goal is not to get rid of fear, but to control it.And the stronger it is, the easier it will be in the long run. Wait, when it becomes easy, not worth it. Life will temper us and make the character really solid.