The families of Tajikistan, unlike European families, are very large by custom. Several generations of relatives live under one roof, observing a strict hierarchy among themselves. Relations are built primarily on the unconditional submission to the master of the house and the veneration of the elders.
A special role is assigned to a woman in the Tajik family. On the one hand, the mother is the mistress in the house and the wife of the head of the family, but on the other, she unquestioningly fulfills any will of her husband and his parents. Despite such an attitude unacceptable for European women, it can not be called discrimination.
After all, such relationships have evolved over the centuries. And having passed many tests, sometimes in difficult local conditions, the understanding of the correctness of such relations has only become stronger. Age for the marriage of girls is 13-14 years. And, despite the law, according to which the girls must wait for their majority, behind the scenes nevertheless marriages are concluded.
Marriage ties are fixed by the Imam, not by the registrar. The life of the Tajiks is determined by Islam. Religion is felt in everything: in everyday life, in traditions, in relationships, in art and in the upbringing of children. A special role is played by rituals, especially weddings. The registrar’s office is visited only at will, but the rite “Nika”, which is conducted by a local mullah – is mandatory.
Without this, marriage will not be considered a marriage, and children will be illegally born. The bride is dressed on the head with seven handkerchiefs. The mule starts talking to the water, and the bride must drink it. Forty days after the wedding, a young wife walks in a national costume.
Everybody is invited to the wedding: relatives, friends, colleagues and even just acquaintances. The wedding takes place in several stages: at the beginning of the house with the bride, then at the groom’s house, then the general wedding and celebration for friends and colleagues. The most modest weddings are attended by 500 people.
Also, the circumcision, the birth of a child and many other memorable events are celebrated magnificently. For Tajiks, it is very important that the tables are filled, and there was not a single free space. And it does not matter that the food will remain, it is important that it is abundant. All are led by the elders, but the young are only executing.
Traditionally, there should be a bride price (ransom for a bride). There is a definite list of what the newlyweds should take from their parents. Most often, the “dowry” begins to be collected from the birth of a child. In general, young people are completely dependent on their parents.
Because very early in marrying, they really still do not understand much. And even if the young suddenly do not like something, they will keep silent. Seniors are wiser and know how to do it right. So they bring up children.
Polygamy is often found in Tajikistan. Officially, of course, polygamy is forbidden, but in practice it is not uncommon. Registration, of course, no, but still the wife is called the first, and the second, and maybe the third.
In rural areas, girls do not complete more than eight classes. After all, according to tradition, a woman does not need to be educated at all. Her destiny is to be a wife and mother.
For Tajik girls it is very scary and shameful to be a “peresidkoy.” Do not get married in time worse than the worst nightmare. A Tajik woman should always remain silent. Without the permission of her husband or mother-in-law, she has no right to go out into the street.
Only women are engaged in households. For a man to do a similar job is shameful. According to the tradition, for the first six months the young wife can not leave her husband’s house, and in no case should she visit her parents.
It is immediately assigned to a lot of economic affairs. She completely submits in all her mother-in-law and all other older relatives, but primarily her husband.
According to the wedding tradition, the bride must cry. So it happens at all weddings.
Tajiks in themselves are very beautiful. They have beautiful dark eyes of unusual shape. National clothes: dress and pants under this dress of beautiful fabric.
Tajik families are full of children. There are as many as God will give. From an early age, children are very active and independent.They are friends of big companies, and most importantly, they are brought up in the tradition since childhood.
The older guys take care of the younger ones, the younger listen to the elders and go everywhere together. Large children wear small ones, the middle ones themselves run after the elders.
The children themselves are very sociable and active. From the very beginning they are helpers to their family. Quickly and willingly carry out any assignment of adults. Easily cope with domestic cattle and numerous household chores.
Children do not live separately, they fully participate in the life of the family. Tajiks do not force children to sleep, do not force them to eat, do not hide from them adult affairs. Children live in the same way as adults: they obey the elders, in an adult way work and are responsible for their actions.
Tajiks are very hospitable people. A guest for them is always a great joy. Any owner considers it his duty to treat the guest deliciously. In each house there is a large room called “Mehmonhona”, designed specifically for the reception of guests. It always has a special place of honor for the main guest.
Tajiks are sitting on the floor, lined with beautiful carpets and mattresses stuffed with cotton wool or cotton, called kurpachi. According to their rules, you can not sit with your legs extended forward or to the side. Lying is also indecent.
A tablecloth called “dostarkhan” is placed on the floor. Before the feast and after it, prayer, thanksgiving and praise to the Most High are indispensable. The Tajiks have their own ritual, different from other Muslims.
Tea plays a big role in the feasts. Poured his youngest man. Drink, as is customary, from the bowl, which should be taken only with the right hand, and the left one should be held on the right side of the chest. Tajiks can afford and alcohol.
It is an interesting fact that the first pial of any drink is poured not by someone, but by yourself. All this is just a custom, so that others can be sure that there is no poison in the drink. For the invited guest, Tajiks will certainly cook pilaf. In ordinary daily life, the elder from the family takes the first meal, but when a guest is in the house – this honor is given to the guest.
Women eat separately at the other end of the house. They can not enter the room during the men’s feast. Any outsider, who wants to communicate with a woman, must necessarily ask permission from her husband or from the owner of the house. Tajik men never walk around the house wearing nightwear or with bare bosom.
If the owner is not at home, but the guest has come, the wife is obliged to invite him into the house. But a man should not go there. It is impossible for outsiders to communicate with a woman in the absence of her husband, father, or other male relative.
Tajiks are very fond of giving gifts. They will never come to visit without gifts. In general, Tajik men are very generous. They are earners for their family and it is important for them that everything in the house is enough for everyone. But most important for them is the opinion of neighbors, friends and relatives. They strive to maintain an excellent relationship and a good opinion of themselves.
For the Tajiks, the family is the basis of their life. For the family they work, they praise the family. Everything described above is an image of a traditional Tajik family. In the modern world, many began to build their lives in the image of the West. However, there are still many families who cherish their traditions.