Computer Merfolology

The laws of Knowsles.

1. The number of false matches issued as a result of searching the Internet, grows exponentially, depending on the urgency of your search.

2. The number of false metadata, tags, descriptors and keywords doubles monthly, so that soon any search on the Internet will lose its meaning.

3. Proper use of the language, especially its spelling and grammar, is progressing less and less with the progress of technological progress.

The Law of Lizzy.

If you have spent a lot of time trying to break into an overloaded server, then your connection with it will be interrupted immediately after you finally can connect.

Law of Metcalfe.

The value of the Network grows in proportion to the square of the number of people connected to this network.

Erickson Equivalent.

Long to sit on the Internet is about the same as sticking out all day around a huge shelf with magazines.

The Law of Bolch.

On old equipment, the old programs will not work.

The Holten principle for downloading large files.

The probability of getting a large file during the download process increases the error message as you approach the end of the specified procedure.

The law of downloading.

If downloading the file takes an hour, then in the 59th minute one of your home will pick up the phone.

Rule of Horowitz.

The computer makes as many mistakes in two seconds as twenty people in twenty years.

Hitch’s Law for the Internet.

When linking to a particular site, your request will choose the most tortuous and longest of all possible routes.

Petzen’s Law for the Internet.

The most promising result produced by the search engine in response to your request will lead to a dead site.

Postulate of Picasso.

Computers are useless. The only thing they give you is answers.

Axiom of Troupe.

The universe is not user friendly.

Rizner’s law for the Internet.

The probability of the hang of the browser you are using is directly proportional to how close you are to the information you are looking for.

Schaff’s law for online search on the Internet.

Any quote found on the Internet twice will have two different spellings, two different attributions or both discrepancies at once.

Consequence.

If both the citation and the source in the two different places coincide, then both are incorrect.

The law of customer service.

The better the customer service is delivered to the firm, the sooner you will be able to talk with the person who is not able to help you.

Torson’s law.

The more difficult and tense the situation, the weaker the battery life of your mobile phone.

The laws of work on the printer.

1. The first time, it definitely will not work.

2. Most likely, it will not work on the second attempt.

3. Immediately after you move away from the printer, it will jam the paper.

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