Academiology

Laws of the schedule.

1. If the classes you want to attend are held in an “n” student room, you will be a n + 1 student.

2. The schedule is designed in such a way that each student can in vain lose the maximum time between classes.

Consequence.

If you manage to occasionally attend two lessons in a row, they will be in the opposite buildings on the territory of the university.

3. The necessary prerequisite for enrolling you to the selected subject is that you will be offered a semester, at which this course is not read at all.

Laws of Applied Terror.

1. When, when preparing for the exam, you look through the abstracts, the most important pages turn out to be illegible.

2. The more you prepare for the exam, the less you can assume that the examiner will want from you.

3. 80% of the last exam includes the questions of one lecture that you missed, and one book that you have not read.

4. The day before the English history exam, the biology teacher asks to learn 200 pages on his subject.

Consequence.

Each teacher believes that you have nothing more to do but teach his subject.

5. If you have an exam on which you are allowed to use the book, you will forget it.

Consequence.

If you are given the opportunity to prepare a response to the exam ticket at home, you will forget where you live.

6. At the end of the semester, you remember that you enrolled in the course at the beginning of the semester, but never visited it.

The Sita Law on Higher Education.

The last thing you need to go through to finish the institute will not be included in the schedule even in the last semester.

Uttington’s first law on communication.

When a writer prepares a manuscript on a topic that he does not understand, his work will be understood only by readers who know the topic better than the writer himself.

Consequence.

Proceedings performed without an understanding of the substance of the matter must fail at the first target stage of communication-the transmission of information to uninformed persons.

Vail’s Law for Educators.

While you do not make mistakes, no one listens to you.

The Law of Seeger.

All that is enclosed in brackets is immaterial. This can be neglected.

Vail’s law on how to organize documents in a folder.

All documents following the first one are upside down, or in the reverse order, until you put them in order. Then everything repeats itself.

A handy guide to modern science.

1. If something is green or writhing, then this is biology.

2. If something smells bad, then it’s chemistry.

3. If something does not work, then it’s physics.

Surf Additions to a useful tool for science.

1. If this is not clear, then this is mathematics.

2. If this is meaningless, then this is either an economy or psychology.

Postcard of the Piercing.

Data without generalization is just gossip.

The Jones-Einstein principle.

Originality and novelty are just the art of hiding your source.

The Nobel Effect.

There is no such proposal, no matter how stupid it may be, in the interest of which it would not be possible to collect a dozen signatures of Nobel laureates.

Consequence.

Any such request is guaranteed to be published on the first page in “NWWWork Times”.

Fadd’s first law for creative thinking.

To put forward some good idea, you need to put forward a lot of very different ideas.

The opposite law of Duff.

The more ideas you have, the more difficulties you will have if you try to recognize which ones are good.

Oscar Wilde on the boards.

The only thing that needs to be done with good advice is to pass it on. In no case should you use it yourself.

Young’s rule for disputes.

Opponents can not agree with you if you do not agree with them.

The Hove Theory.

There are such tips that are too good, for example, a council calling for loving your enemies.

The Law of Albert Camus.

Those who write clearly have readers. Those who write vaguely have commentators.

Gilling Law.

Whenever an erroneous word or letter can change the whole meaning of the phrase, the error will be made in such a way as to bring about the greatest confusion.

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