Study the disease while you are healthy.
Medical education does not end in a medical school; here it is just beginning.
The first law of scientific progress.
Progress in science can be measured by the rate at which exceptions to previously established laws accumulate.
1. There are always more exceptions than rules.
2. There are always exceptions to existing exceptions.
3. By the time the exceptions are mastered and widely used, no one remembers the rules to which they apply.
Mr. Cooper’s law.
If in some scientific text you do not understand a particular word, do not pay attention to it. This text will be clear without it.
Consequence of Bogović.
If this text does not make sense without this word, then with it it will not make sense.
The Creaglio Creed.
Science is always true. And do not let the facts take you aside.
The axiom of Robert.
There are only errors.
Consequence of Berman.
One person’s error is the original data of another person.
Law of GN. Menken.
Those who can do it. Those who do not know are taught.
Addition of Martin.
Those who do not know how to teach are in charge.
Prescher’s law for interns.
If you do not know the answer to a question, the senior doctor will definitely ask him.
The Hernstein Law.
The attention given to the teacher is a constant value that does not depend on the size of the audience; Thus, as the number of listeners grows, the amount of attention paid to the lecturer by one student falls directly in proportion to the number of those present.
The second law of final exams.
During the most serious exam for you, the most attractive and attractive student on the course will first sit next to you.
Laws of medical publications on Dolmen.
1. If the complete collection of the received data does not confirm your conclusion, withdraw some data.
2. If after that no data is left, leave the ones you need.
Daggen’s law for scientific research.
The most valuable is the quote for which you are not able to establish the source.
The source of the quote, for which you could not specify the author, will be given in the most unfriendly review of your work.
Romingo’s rule for teachers.
1. If the student for the second time asks the teacher if he has read his essay on a book, then the student himself probably did not read the book.
2. If the daily attendance is mandatory, then the planned test will be increased non-attendance. If attendance was optional, then students will appear at the exam, which you did not see before.
The law of teaching medicine by Stendrap.
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you will have to catch up.
Jones principle for introns.
Experience allows you to recognize an error when you do it again.
Dolmien’s law for practical training.
Course of anatomy.
When studying the biceps muscles, it turns out that the corpse you are researching has already been amputated by arms and legs for four times.
Course of Neurology.
When testing short-term memory, your patient will be in a coma.
Shingman’s Guide to Medical Jargon.
“It has long been known” – I did not see the original link.
“A clear trend here is obvious” – these data are virtually meaningless.
“Then there was no way to get the final answers to all the questions” – the experiment was unsuccessful, but I still hope to see it published.
“Three of the available samples were selected for a detailed study.” – other results did not make any sense at all.
“Typical results are shown here” – this chart is the cutest of all.
“The corresponding results will be given in a subsequent report” – I could someday return to this if I am forced (or financed).
“The most reliable results were obtained by Jones” – he was my graduate student; from this publication depended his academic degree.
“Based on my experience” – once.
“In the case observed later similar” – twice.
“In a number of cases” – three times.
“It is believed that” – I think.
“There is a general belief that …” – several other guys also think so.
“Correct to the order of magnitude” is incorrect.
“According to statistics” – there are rumors.
“Statistically oriented testing of the significance of these discoveries” – guess at random.
“A careful analysis of all the data achieved” – three pages of records died when I knocked over a glass of beer.
“It is clear that much more work will be required before a complete understanding of this phenomenon is achieved” – I do not understand this.
“After further research conducted by my colleagues” they also do not understand this.
“I want to thank Joe Blotz for helping me with this experiment and Andrea Schaffer for valuable discussions” – Mr. Blotz did all the work, and Miss Shaffer explained to me what all this means.
“A very significant area awaiting further investigation” is an absolutely useless topic chosen by my commission.
“We hope that this study stimulates further work in this area” – I leave the game.
The Barry rule, for the resident, seconded to the clinic for specialization.
If you stop thinking, do not forget to start again.
When teaching medical students, paramount importance should be given to ensuring that they are always awake.