Technical Merfolology



Baker’s rule.

Inanimate objects can be subjected to scientific classification, breaking into the following three main categories: those that never worked; those that are out of order; finally, those that are lost.

Rule Roorke.

Never engage in an inanimate object.


Observations of Ralph.

You make a mistake when you allow any mechanical object to understand that you are in a hurry.

The law of the mechanics of Polak.

After spending 45 minutes on repairs, you find out how you could make it in 5 minutes.

Observations of Thomas Edinson.

Most people miss the opportunity, because she is dressed in overalls and looks like work.

Lee’s law for the repair of electrical equipment.

The simpler it looks, the more problems behind it.

The “BetaMax” principle formulated by Endo.

If there are two rival and incompatible technologies on the market, the worst of them will dominate.

Law of Gurkhan.

The degree of technical competence is inversely proportional to the level of management.

The axiom of Makouly.

If some system is characterized by sufficient complexity, then it will be produced earlier than projected, implemented earlier than tested, and it will become obsolete before it is debugged.

Stages of system development.

1. Frantic enthusiasm.

2. The collapse of illusions.

3. Complete confusion.

4. The search for the guilty.

5. Punishing the innocent.

6. Bonuses for the uninvolved.

Arnold’s laws on technical documentation.

1. If it should exist, it was not done.

2. If it exists, it is obsolete.

3. The first two laws do not apply only to useless documentation.

Akerman’s law for the tool box.

The only nut, bolt, or screw of a custom size that came into your eyes whenever you opened your tool box would disappear the day the job required this particular size. Moris paradox for assembly.

If you have correctly collected everything from the first time, you will find something that you should have done before you start assembling.

The principle of excess parts.

You will never understand what an extra detail is for, until you throw it away.


Rule Randy.

Tons of anything looks, at best, unattractive.

The second law for any work.

If you need to fasten four bolts, you can always find only three suitable nuts.

The Law of Saul.

When fixing something with a few bolts, never tighten any of them until everything is in place.

Cole’s comment.

Each new project requires a tool that you do not have.

Observations by Henry Thoreau.

People have become the instruments of their guns.

The Law of Kegel.

Anything that can be regulated will, in the final analysis, need adjustment.

Rules for any machinery and mechanisms.

1. Nothing will work after it is dismantled, and then collected in the reverse order.

2. The last turn of any bolt or nut will tear the threads on them or cause them to burst.

Consequence.

Without this last turn, this bolt or nut will collapse.

Maxim Campbell.

Hell is a place where everything is perfectly tested and nothing works.

The fifth law of design.

Weak places of any project like to gather in groups.

Sloan’s Law.

Changes made to new models should be so attractive as to generate dissatisfaction with past models.



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