– a scientific discipline that studies both the normal sexuality of a person, and disorders of the sexual sphere, sexual pathologies (the sphere of sexopathology). Clinical (medical) sexology, is engaged in the prevention, diagnosis and treatment of health disorders associated with sexual behavior. Sexology uses the methods of a number of related disciplines: medicine, epidemiology, psychology, etc.
Despite the fact that sexology, as a science, has existed for a long time, and visits to a sexologist have become not uncommon, nevertheless, in society there are still a lot myths and delusions about visits to sexologists, and about sexual health. We give the most common of them.
Men often turn to a sex therapist.
In fact, approximately 70% of those who turned to a sex therapist are women.
The main reasons for addressing a sex therapist: dissatisfaction in sex.
The most common reasons for women to visit a sex therapist are lack of orgasm (25-30%) and lack of sexual desire (15-20%). Men are most often treated because of problems with potency.
To a sex therapist often come singly.
It’s not true. More often come in pairs. However, this is preceded by a “reconnaissance raid” by one of the spouses or partners.
Women often imitate orgasm, and this is normal.
Diagnosis anorgasmia put women who throughout life have not experienced orgasm or experienced it very rarely. According to studies, the percentage of women suffering from anorgasmia is frighteningly large. In France, the researchers found 40% of the inhabitants of this country anorgaistic, 44% in Germany, 33% in Poland, 27% of women in Russia experience orgasm occasionally and 18% never. It is not surprising that some sex therapists calm clients who turned to them for help with a complaint about the lack of orgasm, arguing that this type of behavior of a woman in bed is normal. In fact, most modern sexologists consider anorgasmia to be a deviation from the norm. Indeed, women often imitate orgasm in bed, afraid of losing a partner. However, the simulation of orgasm for the preservation of relations is not an option. Not getting pleasure from sex and, nevertheless, agreeing to it, the woman will again and again feel that the man is using it. This will certainly lead to scandals, irritation on men and the subsequent parting. A woman can change a partner, but if she does not again get pleasure from sexual intercourse, this story will be repeated again and again with the same ending. What in the end will lead a woman to a mental disorder. The only true solution will be an appeal to a good sex therapist, who will conduct a full analysis of both the physiological and psychological characteristics of the patient.
If a woman does not want sex, her partner is to blame.
In fact, in most cases the problem lies in the woman herself. The reasons for the lack of sexual desire (asexuality) can be both physiological and psychological factors. However, according to statistics, in 75% of cases the main is the psychological component of the problem. Physiological factors can be: unbalanced hormonal background, suppression of ovarian function and many others. Before turning to a sex therapist, it would be more correct to visit a gynecologist, an endocrinologist and a neurologist and make a full map of the examinations. If the physiological component of a woman’s libido is normal, the reason for the absence of desire is to be sought in psychology. To psychological factors that reduce desire, can include: the state of anxiety, stress, inferiority complex, inefficient behavior stereotypes, chronic psychological trauma, parental inhibitions of sexuality. These problems help solve sexopathologists, psychologists and psychotherapists. However, we should not exclude the inability of the partner, or his reluctance to recognize and satisfy the needs of women.
Men are prone to polygamy.
In fact, to this day, sexologists have not offered a single reliable hypothesis that justifies the tendency of men to polygamy. So it is possible that this is just a myth.
The cause of the crisis 40 years – dissatisfaction in sex.
It is known that many couples at the age of 40 are experiencing this period. He is accompanied by treason, a break in his former relationship, and his departure from home. However, the main reason why sexologists still consider not the intimate side of the relationship, but the disappearance of psychoemotional intimacy between the spouses. Partners cease to be interested in each other’s affairs, there are mutual misunderstanding, disrespect and rejection of the interests of the spouse. And, as a consequence, the cooling in the relationship, the separation of partners from each other. And the rupture of relations occurs much less often because of sexual dissatisfaction. Although it can serve as an additional factor.
After 40 years, men have a sharp drop in potency.
In fact, a lot depends on our genetics. If your ancestors and after the forty were sexually active, you, most likely, do not worry. However, it is not necessary to discount the factors that negatively affect potency: ecology, bad habits. You can paraphrase the proverb “Every man is a blacksmith of his own happiness”: “Every man is a blacksmith of his potency”. The level of potency can be either increased or decreased. According to sexologists, the most common reasons for reducing potency are: smoking and alcohol abuse, neuroses, hypodynamia, monotony in sex, infections. But, for example, prostatitis, is not considered a contraindication to sex. On the contrary, regular sex work contributes to its prevention and treatment.
If there is no erection, only Viagra will be saved.
It’s not true. Taking Viagra eliminates the symptoms of erectile dysfunction, without eliminating the very reason. That is why first of all you need to consult a sex therapist. There are many methods of treating erectile dysfunction: restoration of impaired blood circulation, correction of hormonal background, physiotherapy, etc. Working with a psychologist, getting rid of the “failure expectation syndrome”, depression, increased anxiety also contribute to solving the problem.
Prolonged use of Viagra can cause addiction.
Psychological dependence can develop in relation to any medication. But the drug addiction to sildenafilam (drugs like Viagra) does not develop.
If a person often thinks about sex, this indicates his sexuality.
Rather, this is due to the lack of sex. After all, if something is missing, we think about it more often. But as soon as the need is satisfied, we turn our attention to other things. If a person constantly thinks about sex, then sexologists, most likely, will diagnose him as a neurosis.
To begin a conversation about sex with a child is better during puberty.
Wrong. At this time, it’s time to stop talking about sex. For the first time to start talking with a child about sex you need at the age of 3-4 years – that’s when the children for the first time voice their interest in this issue. To explain it is necessary to understand the child’s words, do not limit the child to the questions, but only need to answer them, without adding extra information. Start this conversation better with a story about love and affection. The first associations with sex in a child should be related to love, loved ones. The task of parents is to tell the child that they love each other and express it with tender words, kisses. After all, it is the relationships in the family that form the children’s example for building their own sex role behavior in the future.