Psychomorfology of everyday life



Hugo’s law.

In the morning, first eat one live toad – then for the rest of the day nothing worse will happen to you.

R.K. Gallagher.

It is bad when your fight ends with a surrender, except when it is conducted with a vending machine.


Butner’s law.

The one who laughs last, thinks slowest of all.

The laws of the comedy by Carson.

1. If the public has taken the joke on the beginning, it will bite on its salt.

2. You can not insert more than three Hochma in one initiation.

The law of competitive shows.

The best performer in your category will perform directly in front of you.

Law of the Grecian.

The probability of winning the lottery slightly increases if you buy yourself a lottery ticket.

The Greek law for the theater.

The tallest person in the auditorium will sit right in front of you, and only after you are too late to look for another place.

Anton Chekhov’s law.

If in the first act there is a gun on the wall, then in the last one it should shoot.

Avery’s observation.

The fact that you fell down does not matter if, while rising, you managed to grab some valuable item from the floor.

Berkshire’s law on drawing up a home budget.

Immediately after you managed to make ends meet, some article of your income ends.

Stettner’s dietary law.

The more you like a dish, the more harmful it is for you.

Suzanne’s law.

Each recipe includes one product that you do not have in your home.

Consequence.

If this product is required to prepare this dish, it will not be at your grocery store either.

Law of the Temp.

Everything that is cooked in the oven will be either overcooked or undercooked.

Consequence.

Everything that is cooked in a microwave oven will be both overcooked and undercooked at the same time.

Pulliam’s postulate.

Never enter anything soft.

Langfield’s gastronomic law.

For humanity, the discovery of a new dish is much more useful than opening a new star.

Barbara’s drinking bill.

When you have a mouthful of food, never say “cool!”.

The law of heredity for Bombek.

Mutilation is inherited; you, for example, have him from his children.


The law of loving mamusi.

Lomaka, which everywhere climbs, is any child who is more talented than yours.

Three ways to do anything.

1. Do it yourself.

2. Hire someone to do it for you.

3. Prevent your children from doing this.

Observation of F.P. Jones.

Children are unpredictable. You never know on what regular illogicality they will catch you next time.

The principle of the spare button on Barnill.

Those shirts that are sold with extra buttons, the buttons are never lost.

Kuopi’s Law for Parents.

Children are noisy especially when you approach the phone.

Consequence of Zelli.

The worse the telephone connection, the louder the kids scream.

The Law of Cliff.

Never stand between a dog and a hydrant.

The Fent Law.

When you try to open a locked door with a single free hand, the key is always in the opposite pocket.

Home principle of Loofka.

If you think you left it on and come back for verification, it will turn off; if you think you could leave it on and do not come back for verification, it will be turned on.

Observations of Mrs. Fergus.

The lost sock is found again only after his pair is thrown out.

Rule suede coat.

The chances of a sudden downpour are directly proportional to the amount of suede you put on yourself.

The law of missed opportunities for Tibbets.

On that one time, when the big world will knock on your door, you will find yourself lying in the tub.

Savage’s Law.

Leaking in the roof never happens in the same place where it dropped to the floor.

The Theory of Carlyle.

If there are really a lot of keys on your ring, there will always be one that does not open anything.

The Ray-Jansen law.

When you pull the cord for the first time, the curtains will move in the wrong direction.

Angela’s law.

The last sheet of wrapping film for gifts that you have left will be fifteen centimeters shorter than the last remaining gift to be wrapped.

Gina’s Law.

The lightest fabric attracts to itself the darkest spot.

Law of Lefty Gomez.

If you do not throw it, you can not get into it.

Crosby Law.

How bad the musical is, you can judge by how often the chorus yells: “Hurray!”

Fulton’s Law of Attraction.

Attempting to catch a falling brittle object can do more harm than if it just fell.

Vail’s laws about the lines.

1. If you want to become in a small queue, it immediately becomes big.

2. If you expect in a long queue, people behind you suddenly arrange another, short.

3. If you suddenly leave the short queue for a second, it will become long.

4. If you are standing in a short queue, people in front of you let in the line of relatives and friends, and the queue becomes long.

5. A short queue outside the store becomes long inside it.

6. If you are long standing in one place, then create a queue.

Law of Houden.

You remember that you need to omit the letter, when there is no mailbox nearby.

Laws on the delivery of correspondence.

1. Love letters, business contracts and money always arrive late for three weeks.

2. A small mail arrives on the day it is sent.

The Law of Maklkhin.

Among the people holding a key position in society, you will always find on the genealogical line of some John Smith of London.

Rule of Rachet about attraction.

When you drop coins into a machine, pennies may fall somewhere nearby, but all other coins disappear without a trace.

Reynolds Law on Climatology.

The wind speed increases in direct proportion to the cost of the hairstyle.



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