These techniques, as psychologists have proved, really work. Many people want to understand and even manipulate people, but this is not all given. In this case, the main thing is to feel the person. Few people are able to influence people, even fewer people are consciously using it.
Today we will talk about those techniques that you, perhaps, have repeatedly tried unconsciously in public or, perhaps, with their help they manipulate you …
Answer to the kindness or the effect of Benjamin Franklin.
History says that Benjamin Franklin once wanted to win a man who did not love him. This man was looking for a rare book that Franklin had just had. Benjamin learned about this and lent him this rare book, and when she returned to the owner, Benjamin simply thanked him. As a result, they became best friends. As Franklin said: “The one to whom you once did good is ready to answer you with a good greater than yours …”
Ask for more than you want.
This technique is very simple and akin to trading in the market. Reception works almost always. You must overstate your demands if you need a person. First of all, you will most likely get a refusal. Resist not, but give time. In 95% of cases, the person interested in you will respond again and offer slightly less than you requested, but at the same time it is guaranteed to be higher than you originally pawned.
An imposed desire to help.
Reception, very similar to the previous one, only here a slightly different effect. In order to awaken in a person an independent desire to help you, ask him once what he definitely will not do. Having been refused, you have created for yourself a person who considers himself obligated to you. Most likely, he will repeatedly turn to you with a desire to help, because he will have a feeling of guilt inside.
The name of man as a magic sound.
Dale Carnegie, author of “How to win friends and influence people,” believes that using someone’s name during a conversation is an incredibly strong argument. The person’s name is the most pleasant sound for him. Speaking his name, in a positive context, you grow significantly in his eyes.
At first glance, tactics are obvious, but there are some reservations. If your flattery does not look sincere, it will do more harm than good. The researchers found that people tend to seek a cognitive balance, trying to ensure that their thoughts and feelings always coincide. So, if you flatter people with high self-esteem, and flattery sounds sincere, they will like you, because confirm their own thoughts. But flattery towards people with low self-esteem can lead to negative feelings, because your words contradict their opinion of themselves. Of course, this does not mean that such people should be humiliated – so you just do not win their sympathy.
Reflection is also known as mimicry. Many people use this method in a natural way, without even thinking about what they are doing: automatically copy someone else’s behavior, manner of speech and even gestures. But this technique can be used quite consciously. People tend to relate better to those who look like them. No less interesting is the fact that if someone recently “reflected” the behavior of a person, then this person will be more pleasant to communicate with other people for some time, even if they had nothing to do with that conversation. The reason, most likely, is the same as in the case of addressing by name – the behavior of the interlocutor confirms the fact of the existence of the individual.
Ask the tired.
When someone is tired, he is more receptive to all requests. The reason for this is that a tired person is tired not only physically, but also mentally. If the boss is tired, then it is easy for you to allow them to finish tomorrow, but you must finish the work surely and qualitatively. This will add some respect to you in the eyes of the boss. After all, you kept your word.
Begin to ask for trivia.
It’s easy, just ask for a little at the beginning, and you will be given a credit of trust. By this principle, people become dependent on social movements. For example, at first you are asked to support an action against deforestation, you support, then again and again. A trifle, but you are ready to give more. You are ready to support the action against deforestation in far-away Tanzania or join the Green party and contribute.
Do not correct people when they are wrong.
Carnegie also wrote in his famous book that it’s not worth to poke your nose at the blatant error of a person, just after you found it. If you want to change the person’s point of view, then approach it carefully. Even if you have a loser who blames anyone but himself for their troubles, you should not shout in the face. Agree with him at the moment and gradually change his point of view. In another way, you risk becoming an enemy number 1.
Repeat phrases and expressions of the right people.
This principle is similar to the principle of “chameleon”, when a person mimics and gestures repeats a person in communication with whom he is interested. Words can fondle a rumor if they look like echoes. It is necessary to pronounce what the person has already said, what he heard inside his head.
When people nod, listening to something, it usually means that they agree with the speaker. And for a person it is natural to assume that when someone nods when talking to him, it also means consent. This is the same effect of mimicry. So nod during the whole conversation with the person – later it will help you to convince the interlocutor of your rightness.
Dare to listen.
To say to someone that he is wrong is not the best way to put a person to him. The effect is likely to be reversed. There is another way of expressing disagreement and not making enemies at the same time. For example, listen to what your interlocutor says, and try to understand what he feels and why. Then you will find something in common in your seemingly opposite opinions and you can use this to explain your position. Express first consent – so the person will be more attentive to your subsequent words.