Murphy’s Laws on the stages of growing up



Doctrine of dissatisfaction.

1. Infants never manage to stay on their hands as much as they want.

2. Older kids never manage to squeeze as much attention to themselves as they want.


3. Adolescents never manage to win back as much free space as they want.

4. Parents are never able to carve out for themselves as much time as they want.

The inevitability of advice.

1. When you are pregnant, everyone around you gives advice.

2. After you have a little man, everyone around you gives you advice.

3. When your baby becomes a teenager, everyone around you again gives you advice, and above all – your grown-up child.

4. When your teenager “leaves his native nest”, everyone around you again downloads you tips.

5. When you become a grandfather or grandmother, you have nothing left to do but give your children all the good advice you have heard in your life.

Curious promotion of argumentation.

1. In three years they ask: “Why?”

2. At seven years old they ask: “Why not?”

3. At twelve years old they ask: “Are you kidding?”

4. At thirteen years old they say: “Stop composting my brains!”

5. After that, everything starts to roll abruptly downhill – like in a downhill.

Transport confusion.

1. An infant in a stroller will want to climb out from there.

2. A kid in a backpack “kangaroo” will want to go with legs.

3. A child standing firmly on his feet will demand that he be carried.

4. A child on a tricycle will dream of riding a two-wheeled bike.

5. A teenager on a giant with ten speeds will dream about your car.

6. A teenager in your car will want to change into a sports car.


Anxiety with negatives.

1. Your little toddler says “No”.

2. Your first-year student says: “And I will not think, Jose.”

3. Your ten year old child says: “Forget about it.”

4. Your teen does not speak your language anymore.

Theory of relativity as applied to humor.

1. Your baby laughs, as soon as you tickle him.

2. Your child of a kindergarten age laughs at all your jokes.

3. Your schoolboy laughs at some of your jokes.

4. Your teenager groans with all your jokes.

5. You laugh when you hear your adult daughter tell the same jokes to her child.

Stitching with stitching.

1. Wherever you hide the cookies, your children will dig it out.

2. Wherever you hid your set of magazines “Playboy”, your teenagers will dig it up.

Consequence.

Wherever you hide your liquor, your cleaning lady will find it.

Acknowledgments, but without thanks.

1. Toddlers are unable to say “thank you”.

2. Children forget about it.

3. Adolescents are unable to appreciate anything that you do.



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