Murphy’s laws on food

The law of kissel.

A child who in a manger or in a kindergarten tries to take a bottle from each of the kids, at home will refuse food and throw his bottle into a corner.

The factor of attraction of the sexes.

1. If something lies on your floor, sooner or later it will fall into your child’s mouth.

2. If something is in your child’s mouth, sooner or later it will fall on you on the floor.

Gourmet, who loves scraps.

Your child will most likely not get sick if he eats:

1. The amount of ice cream he found and picked up in the park.

2. Half a hot dog, which he found and picked up in the menagerie.

3. The cigarette butt, which he found and picked up in the mud.

4. A dead beetle, which he found and picked up on the floor in your dining room.

5. Used chewing gum, which he found glued under the table in the restaurant.

6. Several pieces of dry food “Pedigri” for the dog. If you see how he eats all this filth, then you will get sick yourself.


Before you allow your child to regurgitate, take the following precautions:

1. Open all windows and doors to ventilate the room.

2. Place a damp cloth on the floor.

3. Dress in your bathrobe and in the shower cap.

4. Pour a full bath of water.

Farewell to the breast.

You probably wait too long to take your child from your breast if:

1. Your child has already been assigned the first visit to the dentist.

2. Your child is already admitted to a college in another city.

3. Your son has fully grown beard.

4. When you enter the bar, your son no longer requires a document indicating the age.

5. Your little daughter no longer has a monthly period …

The law of diminishing appetite.

The more time they need to wash their hands, the higher the chances that they will not even eat anything at dinner.

The hunger factor.

1. When they are sitting at the dinner table, they are not hungry.

2. When they are sitting in a family car, they are very hungry.

Curiosity factor.

Your children will not try any new dish for anything if it does not:

1. It’s very fried.

2. It is densely covered with ketchup.

3. Cool sprinkled with salt.

4. Lying in a plastic container for fast food.

5. Expand the frosting.

6. Fully sugared.

7. Swim in syrup.

Remarks about food.

1. If it is green, it is muck and “byaka”.

2. If it’s sweet, it’s class.

3. If it is “useful to you,” forget it forever.

The laws of dessert.

1. The main reason why children eat lunch and dinner is to get dessert.

2. The more appetizing the dessert, the more space they will leave for him.

R.S. Do not even try to convince them that fruit is a dessert.

Culinary note.

The more energetic they are, the less they eat the pie.


The number of cookies that you really managed to bake is inversely proportional to the number of children who “helped” you to cook it.

The consequence of too active help.

1. Perhaps you can persuade your little one to help you cook.

2. You will not be able to persuade your baby to help you clean the table and put things in order.

Syndrome of a clean dish.

If you do not let your child get out of the table until he has eaten all the vegetables, his tummy tucks, and you have to spend all night on his feet, changing the sheets for him.

The paradox of rice casserole with vegetables.

Children do not eat any food, where different components are mixed together. Except for ice cream with fruits, nuts and syrup.

Successful method of maintaining a sparing diet.

More than half of the food that the kids try to push into their mouths is instead on the floor, and chairs, and also on their knees, aprons and faces. And it perfectly helps them not to gain excess weight.

Criteria for bakery products.

Kids will not eat baked goods, if they are not sprinkled with sugar or not glazed with glaze – preferably both at the same time.

The life principles of a cookie-eater.

1. The most popular way is to eat cookies – slowly, right before the nose of one of the brothers or sisters.

2. The cookie also serves to crush it around the house. (After all, someone must also feed the cockroaches.)

3. Half-eaten cookies are good to hide in the gaps between the sofa cushions.

The sebaceous facts.

1. Children do not eat meat, if it has at least traces of fat … they have an “allergy” to it.

2. Fat is the microscopic particles of matter found by children on those pieces of meat that they do not want to eat.

3. Children also have an “allergy” to all vegetables, cheap meat cuts and any warm food.

Incredible, but true.

1. A child who loves carrots, wears bifocal glasses.

2. A child who loves sardines does not math even for third grade.

3. A child who eats only stuff from surrogates is a first-class sportsman.

4. A child who goes directly from the table to the pool to swim, wins in competitions.

Nutrition Test

1. The longer you cook the dish, the longer it will remain uneaten.

2. The more useful and nutritious the dish, the more energetic your children are shouting: “What disgusting!”

The last straw.

Straws do not serve to drink, they are designed to:

1. Hold the liquid inside the tube (sucking it and then putting a finger to the hole).

2. Make the drink bubble and bubble.

3. Blow the paper ball into someone’s eye.

Warnings about different products.

1. Children do not eat brewed cakes. Only the stuff they stuffed.

2. Children do not eat peas. They chew it to make a mashed potatoes.

3. Children do not eat mashed potatoes. They pour it with sauce to get as much as possible to get smeared.

4. Children do not eat crusts. They leave them to the birds.

5. Children do not eat spinach. They squeeze it to make it take up less space and not so much to catch your eye.

6. Children do not eat Brussels sprouts. They cut off her heads.

7. Children do not eat spaghetti. They suck the sauce out of them.

8. Children do not eat milk shakes. In a glass with a cocktail they let bubbles.

9. Children do not eat ice cream on a stick. Above it is too frozen, and dripping from the bottom ..

10. Children do not chew gum. They swallow it … by accident.

Exceptions in food matters.

1. The only type of vegetables that your child eats with great desire is candied beans.

2. The only kind of seafood that your child eats with obvious pleasure is the sea pebbles.

3. The only green product that your child eats readily is the mint ice cream with chocolate chips.

4. The only case when your child did not climb into the refrigerator behind a container with soft drinks (instead of milk or juice) is if he himself put it in the refrigerator empty.

The dining paradox.

The less your children eat during the main meal, the more likely they are to ask for an additive.


If you are talking about dessert, the child’s appetite is almost unlimited.

Syndrome of starving children.

Even after you, with a deep sense of mercy, poksrushaeshsya over the fate of the starving masses, your child still does not touch either the spinach, or broccoli, or cauliflower.

The dilemma of lunch time.

1. Your child never expresses the desire to go to the pot before dinner.

2. Your child should always go to the pot after everyone settles at the table and begins to eat. After your child leaves the table to go to the pot, you will not see him again, until the dessert time is right.

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