Murphy’s Laws on Contraception



The motto of the Girl Scout.

Be ready. There are chances that he will not.

Vulnerable invention.

Oral contraception is when you loudly tell him out loud that you are not going to get into it, and then “fly in”.

Methods of natural contraception.

If your children do not break into your bedroom when you make love, your dear parents will certainly call you.

Method of natural rhythms.

If you are acting on a matrimonial bed in accordance with the method of natural rhythms, then there are chances that the children will also get rhythmically.

Extraction method.

The method of contraception, involving timely extraction, works 100 percent in theory, but it has never been successfully tested in practice.

Interrupted intercourse.

When you have sex, then:

1. The oven timer is activated.

2. A cat jumps on the bed.

3. A boy-peddler of newspapers comes to get the money due to him.

4. Your child wakes up and it is time to feed him.

5. You remember one important thing that you forgot to do at work.

6. Your parents call on the intercity.

Puzzle with a condom.

He does not want to use a condom because “because of this damned thing, he does not feel anything good.” But if he does not use it, then it can happen that in just a few months you will feel all the good, and on your own skin.

Creed of protection.

Female persons who are not protected, sooner or later are called mothers.

Old student’s truths.

1. Where there is a pill, there will not be a cradle.

2. Where there are enough pills, there will not be children.

3. If there are tablets in reserve, there is a guy at the time.

The principle of a mousetrap.

Stock up with a fair amount of contraceptive pills from the series “the next morning” – and the whole world will be somewhere at your feet.

What is the effect of contraception?

1. The more effective the method of contraception, the less pleasure you experience.

2. The less pleasure you experience, the less likely to have sex.

3. The less often you have sex, the less likely that you “fly in”.



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