Murphy’s laws on conception and pregnancy

Guaranteed way to get pregnant.

1. Tell your parents that you are determined not to have children.

2. Get deeper into debt.

3. Move to an expensive one-bedroom apartment and conclude a three-year lease contract.

4. Buy a two-door sports car with a “coupe” body.

5. Drop five kilos, go to an expensive boutique and completely change your wardrobe.

6. If you want to give birth to twins, apply for adoption.

7. If no other remedy is helpful, apply for a divorce.

The truth of Mark Twain about inseparable couples.

Close acquaintance contributes to the appearance of children.

Chances of pregnancy, or portability of fate.

1. When you are trying to get pregnant, it takes years.

2. When you are trying hard not to “fly”, it happens at the first time.

Sexual self-sacrifice.

The stronger you try to become pregnant, the:

1. more time is required.

2. less fun you get from sex.

Factor of ability to conceive.

Women are capable of conceiving only a few days during each month … provided that they are not alone.

Consequence.

If we are talking about unmarried adolescent girls, they are capable of conceiving during the whole month, and especially – on the weekends.

The law is small “a little bit”.

With a man you can not “sleep a little” … and you can not be “a little pregnant.”

Myths about pregnancy.

1. It is impossible to conceive by sitting on the toilet.

2. You will not get pregnant for anything, even if you swallow a whole ton of raw watermelon seeds.

3. Kissing children also does not happen.

4. Storks do not bring little children.

5. There is no such thing as “virgin birth” in virgins.

6. The natural birth of a child is by no means a joyful thing.

7. Medications do not relieve all pain.

Sexual mathematics.

Sex is a formula, according to which 1 + 1 = 3.

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