Medical Merfolology



Six principles for patients.

1. If the doctor knows what your malaise is called, it does not mean that he knows what it is.


2. The more boring the magazines in the waiting room, the longer you have to wait.

3. On the vials of drugs should not write “Keep away from children,” and “Keep away from adults.”

4. On the last day of taking medication, the pill is either not at all, or there are too many.

5. If your state of health improves, then maybe it’s because the doctor is getting worse.

6. The medicine that should be taken at the same time as food will be the most unpleasant taste.

Consequence.

Even drinking water is unpleasant, if it was prescribed by a doctor.

Caution Matza.

Beware of a doctor who can easily get out in case of trouble.

The Matz rule for medicines.

A medicine is a substance that, when injected into a rat, gives a scientific result or an article.

The aphorism of Cochrane.

When getting the direction for the analysis, think about what you will do if the result turns out to be:

a) positive,

b) negative.

If the answers coincide, there is no need for analysis.

Commentary of Lord Cohen.

The availability of an operation is not yet an indication that it needs to be done.


Laws of care for patients Telesko.

1. All televisions are at the other end of the room.

2. The doctor’s talent is inversely proportional to the opportunity to get to him at the reception.

3. There are two types of adhesive plaster: one that can not be glued, and one that can not be removed.

4. All require an injection at the same time.

5. Who did not give to put it at the appointed time, require an injection, when they give out sleeping pills.

Bernstein’s instruction.

National flower of radiologists – shrub.

The Rule of Barach.

An alcoholic is one who drinks more than his doctor.

Law of Davis.

If your condition seems to be improving, your doctor probably gets sick.

The principle of any health center.

The longer you stay in the doctor’s office, the higher the probability that you will be sent to another place where you again have to wait for reception.

Law of Barron.

If the doctor gets sick in earnest, then always on his own specialty.

Rule of Sweeney.

Patients in need of urgent care are brought only on those days when you can not be contacted.



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