Laws of Murphy for the law firm



Ross laws for a law firm.

1. The clients who call to record them for an appointment never have a diary before them.

2. The phone will ring at the very moment when you finish dialing the number on the other device.


List of convenient clerical excuses.

1. We always did it this way.

2. I did not know that you needed it so urgently.

3. Nobody told me to act.

4. I wait, when to me will give “kindness”.

5. How was I to know that this is not at all?

6. It’s her job, not mine.

7. Wait until the boss returns and ask her.

8. Usually we do not make too many mistakes.

9. I did not think it was so important.

10. I’m so busy that I just can not go back to it again and again.

11. It seemed to me that I already told you about this.

12. I was not brought here to do this.

The Law of Sandilen.

Unexpectedly formed free time will be wasted.

Roger’s Rule.

Never ask two questions in a business letter at once. In the answer message, consider the one that interests you less, and will not write a word about the other.

Office principle.

The phone never rings when you have nothing to do.

The principle of voice mail.

Those whom the almighty gods desire to destroy, they first suspend in a waiting mode.

Gillette’s law.

The phone call you are waiting for is heard a minute before the end of the business day.

The denial of Bloch for Bub’s law.

Disappearance is always found in the first place you go to, but you can never find it when you go there for the first time.


Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle.

The location of all objects in the office can not be known at the same time.

Consequence.

If one was missing, something else would disappear.

The law of applied confusion.

After you have added two weeks to the schedule for the foreseen delays, do not forget to add two more Delhi to the unforeseen unforeseen delays

Johnson Law.

The number of minor ailments among employees of any firm is inversely proportional to the state of health of the firm itself.

First law of Parkinon.

Work is growing, seeking to fully occupy all the time available to complete it; The importance and complexity of the task to be performed are perceived directly proportional to the time allocated for its completion.

The Einstein Supplement.

The project of any work grows, seeking to fully occupy all available space.

Consequence.

If two projects are to be done at the same time, however large the available working areas, both projects will need the same premises.

Scott’s law for the business man.

Never go down the office corridor without any paper in your hand.

The Law of Connor.

If any paper is confidential, it will certainly be left in the copier.

The first rule of subordination to superiors.

Never let your superiors know that you are at least better than them.

The law of Winstler.

It is never known who is right, but it is always known who is the boss.

Law of the Whaler.

Nothing is impossible for someone who does not have to do it himself.

Harrison’s postulate.

Each action always corresponds to an equal and opposite directed criticism.

Conway’s Law.

In any organization there is a person who thoroughly knows what is happening there. He must be fired.

The Stuart Back Act.

It is easier to receive forgiveness than permission.

The Axiom of Vail.

For any character of human activity, work tends to occupy the lowest hierarchical level.

The dilemma of the judicial manufacturer.

1. No matter how much work you do, this will always be not enough.

2.What you do not do is always more important than what you do.

Law of socioeconomics.

In the hierarchical system, the rate of payment for a certain type of work grows inversely proportional to the degree of trouble and difficulty of these works.

Evan’s Law.

If you are able to maintain the presence of the spirit, when everyone around is losing their head, then you simply do not understand the problem.

Wilbert’s Law.

It is easier to criticize than to correct.

Lonejer Observation.

Asking stupid questions is easier than fixing stupid mistakes.

The Law of Brintnollah.

If you received two conflicting orders, obey both.

Law of the City.

Always act exactly as your boss would if he knew what he was talking about.

The first trap for a genius.

No boss will keep a subordinate who is always right.

Theory of selective supervision.

That only once in a day when you allowed yourself to lean back in your chair and relax, it turns out the only time when your boss passes through the office.

Chapman’s law.

Do not be irreplaceable. If you can not be replaced, it is impossible to raise in office.

The Toll Law.

Each faith always corresponds to an equal and opposite directed distrust.

Basic truths of management.

1. Before acting, think – because money is not being spent.

2. All the good that is in management is the expression of one great idea.

3. No leader will waste his efforts to prove his own wrong.

4. If you need complex calculations to justify some actions, discard them.

Rubenstein’s law on punctuality.

Being punctual means only that your mistake will be made on time.

The Law of God.

The one who doubts is probably right.

Kouchner’s law.

The chances of any person to do any work are inversely proportional to the number of others who can do it instead.

Hecht’s law.

To postpone what you do not want to do, there is no better time than right now.

Law of Hardin.

It’s simply impossible to do anything.



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