Judicial Merfolology



Stephen’s Law.

If something is not visible on the X-ray, this simply does not exist.

Consequences.

1. A broken bone that heals in six weeks is more expensive than a lifeless inoperable neck injury.


2. In testimonies under oath, plaintiffs always forget their main complaint.

Capitalized truths for showing illustrations.

1. Realistic models do not work.

2. Medical illustrations do not work.

3. Trouble-free videos work.

The rule of the technology in the courtroom.

The mechanical demonstration devices, which worked perfectly in preparation for the trial, cease to function during the court session.

The Gross Principle.

The more carefully you prepare for the trial, the more likely you are to postpone the hearing.

Principles of the Mendelssohn trial.

1. If you need to prepare for two trials, and you are ready only for one of them, another will be sent for judicial consideration.

2. Your most important witness will not be able to attend the court session.

Consequence.

If this witness comes, at the last minute he will change his testimony.

The Diamond Act.

Violations of the procedure occur only in cases where you win the case.

Rothman rule.

The admissibility of the testimony varies inversely with its importance.

The principle of Storry.

The degree of guilt is directly proportional to the passion of her denial.

Murphy’s first law for lawyers.

If the client asks three times if you believe in his innocence, he is certainly guilty.

Murphy’s second law for lawyers.

That juror, whom you most persistently tried to persuade your client to defend, will be the hardest of all to stand up for a conviction.

Law of KI Morse.

The chances that the person who found the body are the culprit of the crime, are fifty to fifty.

The law of unequal rights.

The more terrible the crime, the more money the state will spend for legal protection.

Consequence.

A client illegally accused of shoplifting will not be offered any protection at all.

Bierce definition.

Accuse – to claim that another person is guilty of unworthy behavior; usually – as an excuse for the harm that we caused him.


The forgotten principle of Aeschylus.

Evil should not win thanks to legal formalities.

Remark of Voltaire.

It is much more prudent to justify two who are truly guilty than to make a guilty verdict on one who is full of virtues and innocent.

Hadley’s Law.

1. The better the judicial deal offered to your guilty client, the stronger the conviction of his own innocence grows in him.

2. The innocent client has the most terrible tattoos.

3. The only time you will be able to staff a jury balanced in a racial way, it turns out that:

a) they are all Republicans;

b) the case is settled before the trial;

c) your sweater is tattooed on your forehead.

4. When you have the opportunity to inform the jury that your client loves his dog, she turns out to be a pit bull.

Consequence.

You yourself did not know that it was a pit bull, until the judge asked your client what breed it was “Fuzzy.”

5. The smaller the crime, the more uncomfortable the client.

6. Cute respondents take the most time.

Murphy’s Law for District Attorneys.

1. Your most compelling testimony will be rejected by the judge.

2. No matter how unambiguous the testimony is, the defense will find an expert who will prove its insolvency.

Consequence.

There is always one juror who will believe this expert.

3. If the police carried out a search legally, the evidence would be compromised by something else.4 The strongest of your testimonies will relate to an area that is not the subject of a judicial controversy.

The defense lawyer’s complaint.

The agony of defeat lasts longer than the joy of victory.

Law of Preemptive Power.

In court, Murphy’s law takes precedence over local, state and federal laws.



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