All human actions are largely due to the level of his self-esteem. In most cases, self-esteem is understated. This means that a person evaluates their abilities below what they really are. As a rule, the reason for this is rooted in the children’s age.
It is in childhood that each person’s capabilities are poorly developed, and the formation of self-esteem is already under way. “You do not understand anything!”, “Again it did not work out for you, you’re a big man!”, “It’s so hard to tell you how many times you say the same thing!”. Yes Yes! Parents are now very much conducive to the fact that their child grows up and feels incapable of anything.
Self-esteem can significantly decrease and at one time in an adult. The reason for this may be news, for example, about a reduction in work, betrayal or treason of a loved one. The type of temperament also plays a role in the formation of self-esteem.
Take, for example, a choleric person. Self-esteem in such a person can vary several times a day. But the phlegmatic or sanguine person is stable. Obviously understated self-esteem is characteristic of melancholics. There are times when self-esteem is clearly overestimated, but this is usually reserved only for very young people.
Low self-esteem can manifest itself in different ways. Someone resembles a gray mouse and never takes the initiative. And someone, on the contrary, seeks to prove their worth. Both in the first and in the second group of persons the problem is the same – low self-esteem. It poisons life, does not allow for the full realization of their abilities and, as a result, prevents the desired.
Raising self-esteem of the person is a rather long process, but it is quite realistic. And moreover, conscious attempts to form self-esteem will prove useful to practically every person. What techniques will help improve your self-esteem?
The first rule can be called preventive, and it concerns parents. The child must understand that he is loved exactly as he is.
Do not inspire a child from childhood that he does not know anything and does not know. Praise him if he did something well and carefully criticize the act, but not the child himself.
Do not think constantly about how you want to increase your self-esteem, do not get hung up on this issue.
Just live! Know what you want, you will surely achieve!
Do not compare yourself to anyone else.
To surpass all is not an end in itself, it is not necessary to do this. You can only compare yourself with yourself: see how you became today, compared to what you were yesterday.
Do not blame yourself.
If you negatively treat your abilities and your loved one, you will never have the opportunity to develop the desired level of self-esteem. Self-annoying comments regarding any aspects of your life (for example, financial status and career, appearance and personal life, etc.) should always be avoided. Your statements about yourself are the basis for correcting your self-esteem.
Answer gratitude for compliments and compliments.
You deserve them! Do not belittle your dignity, responding to a compliment in approximately this way: “Yes, nothing special …”. Remember that in this case you unconsciously understate your self-esteem, form the idea that you do not deserve and are not worthy of these praises.
Having decided on the need to do something, you should not postpone this matter indefinitely.
In doing so, you program yourself for fear of insurmountable difficulties.
Try to do something new, something you never did.
From the fact that you have it, you will get a lot of positive emotions.
To increase self-esteem, you can effectively apply affirmations (statements).
What is it? Everything is very simple! All our habits are stored on a subconscious level. We do not think about how, for example, we lace up our shoes.Once we just learned to do it, but now this procedure has become a deeply rooted habit. Such statements (verbal phrases) as “I love myself”, “I will succeed”, “I believe in myself,” “I’m attractive”, posted on a frequently used subject (this can be, for example, your wallet or purse ) program you to change the idea of yourself. Repeat the affirmations you wrote, it is repetition – this is the guarantee of the work of these “formulas”. The adult person, as a rule, thinks not in images, but in words, that is why with words and increase your self-esteem. Get positive emotions from this process. Get rid of such attitudes as “life gets worse and worse every year,” “Why should I do it.” Such affirmations are negative, which is postponed in your self-awareness. Make it a habit to think of yourself on the positive side. All this will greatly enhance the effect of the impact.
How to write affirmations? First, invent them yourself, do not use affirmations from books, the Internet, etc. Secondly, your new installations should be presented in an affirmative manner. Third, the basis of “formulas” should be exactly you and your actions.
Change your lifestyle.
Make an appointment at the gym. Or maybe start doing morning exercises? As they say, in a healthy body a healthy spirit. It will be very effective to update the wardrobe (you, in fact, start a new life). Go to the hairdresser’s. It seems to be little things, but they are very important in increasing self-esteem. Look at yourself in a new way.
Ask additional questions to the interlocutor if you do not understand something.
Believe me, this is better than not once getting into a mess.
Demonstrating your worth is not an indicator of high self-esteem.
What is self-esteem? This is an indicator of how a person evaluates his or her potential for achieving the goal. Thus, self-esteem does not need external manifestations, there are no obvious “loud” hints on it.
You can not live in constant discontent with everyone. The result of this attitude will only be that you become a dull grouch.
Forget about self-displeasure.
Why scold yourself? From this, your self-esteem will not go up, it’s a fact. Praise yourself for your success.
Do not make excuses.
If you are wrong or in need of justification, there is still a need to explain the action in a confident and calm voice. Remember that a very pitiful impression is created by a man who explains his action, the drum of justification.
Forget about such a thing as feeling of fear.
What you are afraid of may not happen. And than to be afraid of what has not happened, it is better to assess what you will do if it does happen. Even negative experience is useful in shaping your self-esteem.
Do not blame yourself for being imperfect.
There are no perfect people, so let yourself be imperfect. Are you doing something worse than the rest? But you can not be perfect in every respect. Something else you, undoubtedly, do better than others.
Help other people.
You will not only receive their gratitude, but also ensure the “growth” of your self-esteem, you will feel more valuable in society. All in your hands.
Surround yourself with positive people.
You will feel much better in the company of people who accept you and who are confident.
Your achievements can be an incentive for self-esteem.
Did you learn to snowboard? Excellent! Record this achievement in a specially compiled list. Did you get a driver’s license? This is also very important to you. Look through the list periodically and get satisfaction from what you did. Feel once again the joy that has captured you at the time of such important achievements.
Another way to increase self-esteem is to compile a list of positive qualities that are inherent in you.
You must fix at least twenty qualities on a special sheet of paper. Are you unselfish and honest? Are you helpful? Be supportive towards yourself. Such a list should also be reviewed by you on a regular basis. But you can not focus on the shortcomings in you. They form the basis of your underestimated self-esteem. You will not achieve anything good if you concentrate on the negative aspects of your character. Pay attention to your dignity, and you will definitely achieve what you want.
Take up a business that you like.
Unloved work can not raise your self-esteem, because you feel depressed on it. Having received the same pleasure from work, you will not even notice how your self-esteem will become higher. In the case when the work does not bring satisfaction, and change it does not seem real, then there is always the opportunity to find for yourself some hobbies, which you will devote your free time.
Be your own self.
You must conduct your life in the way that you want, or else you will not be able to respect yourself. Low self-esteem is drawn from such situations when you make decisions in accordance with the opinions of relatives and friends, but not in your own opinion. For example, if you are an entrant and enter a certain department just because your relatives so want and your friends advise, then you risk in the future to have an uninteresting job and an underestimated self-esteem.
Sitting on the spot, you will not achieve anything, including you will not achieve an increase in your self-esteem. The feeling of your self-esteem grows in proportion to your desire to act, accept challenges. Do not allow feelings of anxiety and fear to delay decision-making. Remember that you are unique and have great potential.
Raising the level of self-esteem, you will find peace of mind and reveal your true abilities. You will not be afraid of failures, but will take a greater risk. You will make your own decisions, not copy someone’s will. You will receive satisfaction and joy from your activity. Take Action!