The Crane law.
In standby mode, the performance of all computers is the same.
The real danger is not that computers will start to think like people, but that people will start thinking like computers.
Computers make very fast and very precise errors.
Law of Minsk.
A computer has not yet been developed that would understand what it does, but for the most part we do not realize it either.
The third law prints on the printer.
Immediately after you move away from the printer, it will “jam” the paper.
Computer Laws of Murphy.
1. No matter how much resources you have, they are never enough.
2. If the program is placed in the main memory and enough disk space, it is guaranteed to hang or give an alarm message.
3. If such a program has not yet bent, it simply expects a critical moment, after which it will surely die forever.
4. All components are obsolete.
5. The rate of obsolescence of components is directly proportional to their price.
6. No software errors can be detected by anyone other than the end user.
Rechart’s Law for the Internet.
The link you want to click on will download the latest one.
The Rule of McMahon.
Regardless of what exactly you are looking for on the Internet, at least one porn site will match your search criteria.
1. The number of false matches issued as a result of a search grows exponentially, depending on how urgently you need to find the data.
2. The correct use of the language decreases faster than progress in technology is achieved.
The law of e-mail.
The notes and typos remain unnoticed until the “send” button is pressed.
The Law of Soutine.
The most pleasant thing to do on a computer is that most of all is useless.
Computer axioms of McChristy.
1. Backup files are never complete or recent.
2. Software errors can be corrected only after it is recognized as obsolete.
Beyser’s axiomatic axiom.
Putting something into the computer’s memory, remember where you put it.
The Steinbach Directive.
Never test the system for an error situation if you do not know how to handle it.
Murphy’s technological laws.
1. Logic is a systematic method that allows you to come to wrong conclusions with complete certainty.
2. The range of use of the computer extends only within the length of its power cord.
3. The degree of technical competence is inversely proportional to the level of management.
Connecting additional employees to a lagging software project makes it even more late.
Golubu agrees with the laws of the computer community.
1. To avoid such an unpleasant occupation, as a careful assessment of the costs of achieving the objectives of the project, the latter is given the most vague character.
2. The implementation of a carelessly planned project takes three times longer than expected; a carefully planned project is realized only twice as long.
3. Efforts necessary to adjust the progress of work, grow exponentially as the deadline approaches.
4. Brigades of designers can not tolerate a weekly report on the progress of work, as clearly there is a lack of any progress in them.
Computers do not have intelligence … they just think that they have it.