Computer Merfolology for Lawyers

Law of unreliability.

A person is prone to make mistakes, but only the computer can really confuse everything.

The Law of Ringwald.

Any horizontal surface is soon cluttered up in batches.

Greer’s Law.

A computer program does what you told it to do, not what you would want it to do.

The axiom of Beizer.

When memorizing something, do not forget where you put it.

The Deweme’s Dilemma.

If you accidentally press two keys on the keyboard at once, a letter appears on the screen, which you do not need.

Laws of unreliability according to Gilbu.

1. Computers are unreliable, but people are unreliable even more.

2. Any system that depends on the reliability of a person is unreliable.

3. The variety of errors that can not be detected is unlimited, as opposed to detectable errors, the number of which is by definition limited.

4. Investments in reliability increase until they exceed the possible damage from errors or until someone decides that it’s time to do more useful work.

Law of the Rector on e-mail.

Errors remain unnoticed until the “send” – “send” key is pressed.

Defining the elements of computer systems by Murphy.

1. Equipment – those parts of the computer system that can be kicked.

2. Software – those parts of the computer system that do not constantly plow.

3. A hard disk is that part of the computer system that is being cut down at the most inopportune moment.

4. Peripheral equipment – those devices that are incompatible with your computer system.

5. The printer is the part of the computer system that chews paper as soon as you stop looking at it.

6. The cable is the part of the computer system that is too short.

7. Mouse – see “Working with the cursor”.

8. Creating a backup is an operation that is never performed on time.

9. Recovery is a procedure that works perfectly, as long as there is no need for it.

10. Memory is the part of a computer system that is always lacking.

11. Error message – request to confirm the ability to destroy your own data.

12. The file is that part of the computer system that can not be found.

13. The processor is that part of the computer system that is obsolete.

14. Management is the element of a computer system that is completely incomprehensible.

Belinda’s law.

The chances of a computer getting out of action are directly proportional to the importance of the document you are currently working on.

Robbins rule.

One of the main reasons why computers can do more work than people is that they never need to stop and answer phone calls.

The Crane Law.

In standby mode, the performance of all computers is the same.

Law of repair.

It’s impossible to fix something that has not broken down.

The principle concerning multifunctional devices.

The fewer functions a device must perform, the better it is able to perform.

Applicable to treaties and agreements.

The less issues covered by this agreement, the more carefully they are considered.

The Sullivan Lemma.

Artificial intelligence is not close to natural stupidity.

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