April’s best April jokes

Where else do the jokes, if not in places where there are always a lot of people? On the Internet, such a site is the largest and most powerful search engine – Google. I must say that they like to celebrate April 1, or Fool’s Day, in this company.

Google even has an annual tradition to collect the most creative and memorable rallies. Whether it’s personnel search, MentalPlex or a test version of an interpreter for animals. People from Google every year prove that they can be very funny. Let’s talk about the best April Fools’ jokes of Google.

April's best April jokes

Search system with special frames.

This is the kind of functionality offered by the Chinese branch of Google in 2008. The possibility of searching with the help of human resources was suggested. The goal is to make the search results more reliable and relevant. The system is based on the work of 25 million Chinese volunteers who search information around the clock. An important component was that Google’s assistants had access to both online documents and paper carriers. As a result, the search for any information was to be carried out in 32 seconds. The Chinese branch offered all potential volunteer participants to leave their resume for consideration by a special commission. Those who wanted, of course, were found, and Google admitted in the draw.

Google TiSP – toilet Internet provider.

In 2007, Google introduced the launch of its new project – TiSP, while at the level of beta testing. It was free home wireless Internet access. Those who want to participate should have received their own TiSP package for self-installation. It included: an installation CD, fiber optic cable, wireless router, spindle and installation guide. The innovative system used the technology of the toilet GFlush and promised wireless access to one of the thousands of TiSP access nodes over a fiber optic cable stuck in a local municipal wastewater system. This is how it was reported in Google advertising. It was pretty fun to read the FAQ section. Asked how Google can provide this service for free, the company said its strategy is to analyze human waste. This makes it possible to place targeted advertising in Google for the client, related to his health and culinary preferences. Is not that a witty joke? The TiSP system itself looked like a bar. The free end of the cable had to be lowered into the toilet with a sinker. Further, when the water is drained with a spindle, the cable will be pulled to the special sewerage units. The router itself is equipped with a counterweight system that helps it to withstand the force of the drained water, remaining on the tank. The same of users who may find this procedure difficult, it was suggested to use the services of nanobots. It was they, 15 minutes after the order of the service, reached the client’s house through the sewage system and installed the equipment on their own. Of course, to visit the toilet during the operation of such smart devices is not recommended, in order to avoid physical or mental injuries.

CADIE is an artificial mind.

In 2009, Google introduced CADIE, the world’s first intelligent system. According to the press release of the company, she could analyze the incoming mail of users in Gmail, sending back an impeccable and perfect answer. And all this without the intervention of the man himself. The Answering System for Gmail quickly attracted interest. Funny were the samples of answers. So, on the spammers’ proposals the system automatically agreed, sending out the bank account number and password to it. Analyzing the letters of the girl-friend, the answering machine decided to break with her relations, and the teacher’s questions how things were going, the answer was made about the wonderful rest in Bali and the termination of training altogether.The CADIE system also included smart search for mobile devices, the Google Chrome browser for 3D glasses and the ability to add red eye to photos in Picasa. Today, technology has its own blog, and its channel on YouTube.

Looking into the future with gDay.

What will be in the future is not given to anyone but God … and Google! The company’s office in Australia in 2008 developed a revolutionary beta version of search technology that allows users to find Web pages even 24 hours before they are created. The system was named MATE – Machine Automated Time Extrapolation and became the basis of gDay technology. Using it on the website it was possible to get predictions for something – winning numbers of tomorrow’s lottery, changes in stock prices, the results of sports competitions.

Pigeon rating.

When creating a search engine, one of the key points was the page rank, PR. This technology determined the relevance and importance of the web resource. Rating ranged from 1 to 10. Most of us know that the system for ranking web pages was developed by Sergey Brin and Larry Page. In 2002, Google reported that the page rank system (PageRank) was in fact a pigeon rating system (PigeonRank). The success of PigeonRank relies, first of all, on the excellent training of the company’s personal pigeons (a common gray-haired species) and their unique abilities to recognize objects regardless of spatial orientation. It turned out that an ordinary gray pigeon can easily distinguish elements with the smallest differences on the pages. This helps the bird to select the right websites from thousands of similar ones. This is how Google explained the technology. Those web pages in which pigeons pecked the most, and received the highest search engine ranking for keywords.

Romantic Google.

In 2006, Google came to the conclusion that love is just another quest to solve the problem. The company has been thinking about this for a long time. And then there was the “Romantic Google”. The system offered free dating. Here, any user could leave a romantic information about himself searching for his half. A special “Soul soul search system” was given the task of giving out only those results that include the theoretically related soul of the user. Only now the couples had to agree that for the time of their relationship they will be constantly offered contextual advertising. The slogan of the service was: “Fix your romantic hopes together with Google!”. The company wanted people to live together long, happily and with its contextual advertising.

Google’s Throat.

In 2005, a whole revolutionary line of non-alcoholic beverages – the “Google Sip” – was due to appear. This hit was supposed to enable users to work on the Internet with maximum efficiency. The company said that the drink will make users more intelligent, reducing their thirst. The drink was produced in four delicious colors – red (with beta-carotene), purple (with glutamic acid from grapes), gray (with serotonin) and red (free radicals without sugar). Google wrote: “Just think, the DNA scanner is built into the throat of the bottle, reading all 3 gigabytes of your genetic information in fractions of a second.” Fine tuning a personal hormonal cocktail in accordance with the patented technology “Auto-Drink.” The same stimulants can also optimize the work brain “.

Google MentalPix.

In 2000, Google invited its users to search faster and more efficiently using Google MentalPlex technology. It has been advised that such a search capability is based on its own intelligent algorithms. To develop MentalPlex it took 13 years of work of a special research team.At the same time, close cooperation was carried out with some authoritative doctors of sciences in the field of parapsychology, artificial intelligence and probability theory. MentalPlex was the only search engine in the world that allowed to provide search results without the need for users to enter the query itself. Google allegedly read the thoughts of people, knowing what exactly they wanted to find. The company provided recommendations to those who wanted to use the new service. It was necessary to remove the hat or glasses, but the vegetation on the face, earrings and make-up were allowed. Then I had to take a closer look at the MentalPlex spiral on the screen and imagine in my mind the image of what I should find.

An interpreter for animals.

One recent Google Fools Day celebrated is really funny. Many people were deceived by the news that the world’s first translation service from the language of animals was developed. Google created a special Android application that was supposed to help people communicate better with their pets. The program could translate the sounds of animals into human speech. It has been reported that the language of dogs, cats, horses, sheep, hamsters, turtles, birds, rabbits, chicken, pigs and guinea pigs is already recognized.

Copernicus Center.

In 2004, Google published a fake ad saying that highly skilled engineers are required to work, ready to move to a new job. Candidates must be prepared to survive in conditions of limited access to modern facilities, such as the series “Sopranos”, skimmed soy latte and stable access to oxygen. The new Google Copernican Research Center (GCHEESE) was supposed to be based on the moon and be ready for opening in 2007. Some questions to the candidates were: “What happens to the rating system in the immediate vicinity of the black hole?”, “Will spam continue to rain forever?”, “How far can the boundaries of the World Wide Web be extended?”, “Can it become an interplanetary tool?” “. This joke became truly original! It should be noted that although Google has not conquered the moon and vacancies in GCHEESE have not been opened, the company still sponsors the lunar program. A prize of $ 30 million was announced for that private company that is the first to successfully deliver the robot from Earth to the Moon.

Add a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *