# Applied Mercorphology

## Ownership rules for Richard.

1. If you keep something long enough, you can safely throw it away.

2. If you throw something away, you will need it immediately.

## Gillette law on home crossings.

Everything that was lost in the process of the first move will be found during the second move.

## Glatam’s law on money-grubbing.

Apparent utility of any product becomes inversely proportional to its actual utility as soon as the goods are purchased and paid for.

## Harper’s Law.

Disappearance can never be found until you buy something in return.

## Schopenhauer’s laws on entropy.

1. If you pour a spoonful of wine into a barrel full of impurities up to the top, you get impurities.

2. If you put a spoonful of impurities in a barrel full of wine to the top, you get impurities.

## The law of nature’s wickedness.

It is impossible to determine in advance which side of the sandwich to be smeared with oil.

## Law of Pauli.

You will not fall off the floor.

## Principle of asymmetry by Murphy.

At random everything goes right away, but back to normal, it comes gradually.

## Consequence.

To break a thing, you do not need time at all, but for all repairs it takes an eternity.

## A variation of the observation of Ettore, formulated by O’Brien.

As soon as you move to another queue, the previous one starts moving faster.

## The Consequence of Kenton.

Returning to the previous line will win both lines and make everyone angry.

## Law of Langer.

If the turn is moving fast, then you are standing where you want.

## Vail’s advanced laws on queues.

1. If you are rushing to a short queue, it suddenly becomes long.

2. If you hang around in a long queue for a long time, then all the people that fit after you become a new, shorter line.

3. If you leave the short queue for a second, it immediately becomes long.

4. If you are standing in a short line, those who stand in front of them let their friends and relatives in, turning it into a long one.

5. A short line outside any building becomes long inside it.

6. If you stand long enough in one place, a line is being built for you.