Applied Mercorphology

Ownership rules for Richard.

1. If you keep something long enough, you can safely throw it away.

2. If you throw something away, you will need it immediately.

Gillette law on home crossings.

Everything that was lost in the process of the first move will be found during the second move.

Glatam’s law on money-grubbing.

Apparent utility of any product becomes inversely proportional to its actual utility as soon as the goods are purchased and paid for.

Harper’s Law.

Disappearance can never be found until you buy something in return.

Schopenhauer’s laws on entropy.

1. If you pour a spoonful of wine into a barrel full of impurities up to the top, you get impurities.

2. If you put a spoonful of impurities in a barrel full of wine to the top, you get impurities.

The law of nature’s wickedness.

It is impossible to determine in advance which side of the sandwich to be smeared with oil.

Law of Pauli.

You will not fall off the floor.

Principle of asymmetry by Murphy.

At random everything goes right away, but back to normal, it comes gradually.


To break a thing, you do not need time at all, but for all repairs it takes an eternity.

A variation of the observation of Ettore, formulated by O’Brien.

As soon as you move to another queue, the previous one starts moving faster.

The Consequence of Kenton.

Returning to the previous line will win both lines and make everyone angry.

Law of Langer.

If the turn is moving fast, then you are standing where you want.

Vail’s advanced laws on queues.

1. If you are rushing to a short queue, it suddenly becomes long.

2. If you hang around in a long queue for a long time, then all the people that fit after you become a new, shorter line.

3. If you leave the short queue for a second, it immediately becomes long.

4. If you are standing in a short line, those who stand in front of them let their friends and relatives in, turning it into a long one.

5. A short line outside any building becomes long inside it.

6. If you stand long enough in one place, a line is being built for you.

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